2204. Garden gnomes

Sadie wasn’t greatly into gardening but there was one gardening thing she couldn’t abide: gnomes.

Marilynn next door was into gnomes in a big way. She loved them, and of course Sadie to be polite would express delight upon the arrival of another new gnome in Marilynn’s garden.

Then came the moment; Marilynn gave Sadie a gnome.

“You like them so much,” said Marilyn, “that I knew you’d be delighted.”

Living next door meant there was no hiding the gnome. Sadie couldn’t install it behind the shed. The wretched monstrosity would have to sit, at least for a while, in full view.

It was a terrible, terrible shock a week later, but in some ways a relief, when Marilynn died in her sleep.

The new neighbour is into pink plastic flamingos.

20 thoughts on “2204. Garden gnomes

  1. Sarah Angleton

    I know I’ve mentioned him before, but for many years we had an elderly neighbor who absolutely loved all yard/garden decorations including both gnomes and flamingos. We used to joke about secretly adding to the collection just to see how long it would take him to notice. We never did, but when he moved to assisted living and the new neighbors moved in we mentioned it to them. They were quick to express their dislike for gnomes and other such decorations. They also tore out most of the kind of wild landscaping and replaced it with monochromatic rocks and evergreen trees. It’s nice enough I guess, but it’s not the same, which just makes me realize that someday I will probably become the crazy gnome lady next door.

    Liked by 5 people

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  2. Catxman

    Gnomes beat flamingos any day of the week. The flamingo is an emissary from hell, sent to challenge out preconceptions about reality. The gnome is a friend from heaven, mandated to provide us with good luck. I want to remain blissfully ignorant; therefore, no flamingos.

    Liked by 3 people

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    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      One gnome is enough and preferably hidden under the shady leaves of an agapanthus. The good thing about flamingos is that they’re often made of cheap plastic that goes brittle and crumbles after about 10 years.

      Liked by 1 person

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  3. Pingback: 2204. Garden gnomes — Weave a Web | Vermont Folk Troth

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