Mrs Irene Rodgers didn’t exactly regard it as murder. Husband Perry’s death was more of a duty on her part. He had been bleeding off the government all his life. If it wasn’t a sickness benefit it was unemployment. If it wasn’t unemployment it was travel expenses. If it wasn’t this, it was that. After fourteen years of dependence upon the government, Irene had had enough. She did away with him. Surely the government would thank her – if they knew.
Perry’s demise had been well planned. In preparation she had dug dozens of little holes all around her substantial flower garden. After the killing, efficiently done with the pull of a trigger, she had used some fuming nitric acid to diminish the remains as much as possible, and then “planted” bits around the flowers. It took her a good week.
When all was done it was time to shop. But first things first: she had to apply for the widow’s benefit.
Hmmm, fuming nitric acid. Another idea for my little list, which is in my bank deposit box.
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When you use it wear a mask – if you have one.
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I will get a good one and put it with the list.
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lol.
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Happily nitric acid does not affect gold teeth – just so you know…
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What teeth?
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And in a sad but delightful turn of events, Irene’s widow benefits are denied because her gardening prowess could easily earn her a livable wage. How does make it grow so successfully?!
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I see you’ve weeded out the gardeners from the list.
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I read yesterday that the average tax refund of Australians per year is over $2000. There are a lot of Australian Perry’s about it would seem lol
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The most I ever got back in taxes was $10.
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That’s the thing. I couldn’t believe how much was the average refund. I have given to Venezuelan charities and that would amount to a couple of hundred which I would expect back. But the average well over 2000 dollars. You have to be f/&king kidding me. May be us Pensioners can’t claim diddly squat?
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I was once charged $14,000 in taxes (overdue it was) which was more than I had made in the year. I worried and fretted for weeks. In the end I went to the Tax Dept and no one could help. On the lift down I complained to a lady about incompetence. I didn’t know she was the boss. She took me straight up to her office, went through things and said “It is the tax department that owes you over the years.” And she wrote a cheque out for $14,000 !!!!
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That’s about the most positive endins to any story you have written here in recent times Bruce! What a relief you challenged them on it. Happy for you.
I had a similar ordeal with the Tax Office where I owed many thousands based on my circumstances here as ‘a non resident for tax purposes’ and I had ticked the wrong box because I’m a doofus.
They were kind to me after I laid out my circumstances and challenges here rearing two young children. They relinquished the debt. They have a soul, I’ll give them that.
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It’s (nearly) always a question of striking the right person.
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I think the government should pay her for such service!
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Indeed! Although I went to the Income people this morning and made an appointment in order that I might pay the rent! Hopefully…
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Paying rent is a good thing. I hope you’re able to swing it!
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