My thanks to each and every one of you for coming to this group session. Now that we have finished our coffee and cookies, if you would like to take a seat and we shall discuss the causes of why you are here: what is the root cause of why each of you suffers from low self-esteem? I know the course is expensive but I believe it will be worth every penny.
When someone comes to see me for therapy, it is usually clear early on if they have poor self-esteem. It shows up in their language, in how they talk about themselves, and it shows up in their non-verbal communication such as their body language.
For people such as yourselves with low self-esteem, I make it a priority to find out how the outside world valued you when you were young, and how as adults you can now determine your own value.
This can be hard and take time to achieve, so I have saved you the trouble by poisoning your coffee and cookies and none of you will ever have to worry about low self-esteem again. You, to be quite honest, are the dregs of society, and I have arranged for a garbage truck to wait at the back door and you’ll be loaded into it – at this stage dead or alive – to be taken to the town dump.
All doors, except the back door, are locked. Have a nice day and thanks for your money.
Weave a Web 
😂 I laughed a little too hard. This is terrifying. I’m pretty sure that you’ll actually find psychologists like this! Fantastic dark humour!
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Thank you Nitin. I rather enjoyed writing it!
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That was a scary one.
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Glad to have frightened the hell out of you, Sylvie!
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Took care of that bunch nice and neat. Not much of a businessman, though. You could have milked some of them for a lot more money.
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Yes – that has been my experience – milking people of all their money is a lot more satisfying.
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Herb – I’ve been trying to comment on your own blog but it keeps telling me that my comment has been filtered out by the spam-watching program – whatever that’s called. Obviously I’m being too proper!
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I’m really sorry Bruce. Apparently Akismet is being overzealous again. I checked both my spam folder and my pending folder and there was nothing there. They don’t have any settings I can find to “whitelist” someone. Their “help” page says you (the commenter) have to go to their contact page https://akismet.com/contact/ and say your comments are being incorrectly marked as spam. This is really annoying.
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I shall try to become perfect for them and shall go to that site. You’re worth it!
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Thank you, sir. I take that as high praise indeed.
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I might cancel my registration at the seminar for narcassists that I just booked online.
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Sounds like you narcassists should take a long hard look at yourselves.
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Oh, we love looking at ourselves.
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Never a truer word!
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Well you can only milk them of their money once…so charge a crazy amount! You have overhead… poison, coffee, and cookies.
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I said milk them, not put milk in their coffee.
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Where can I sign up for the next course! 😁💰💰💰
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I thought you were the organizer?
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I meant who wants to sign up for the next course? 😉
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I’ll make the coffee!
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Excellent. You know just the way I like it.
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That was very educational.
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I strive. A bit like thyself.
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Hard to wake up to the truth, but this really helped me do that just now. Bracing as a, um, cuppa joe?
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Just don’t get on to that garbage truck!
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Noooiiiirrrr….
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Sooommmee ooof the lettters ooon yooour keybooard seeem to be stuuck!!
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That is a very efficient therapist. Problem solved in only one session. Impressive!
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If you ever want the therapist’s address…
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I might pass that number on to one or two people who would benefit.
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!
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I never thought of this – maybe I should try it? I do need to make some quick money!
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You’re welcome to pinch the idea.
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Ooh this is very chilling, I hope this isn’t a message to your followers….
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A message to followers – now that might be an idea!
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