When Englebert retired he was looking forward to doing what he’d always wanted to do, and that was to learn to make bread. For forty years he had slaved away as a proctologist, and a very good proctologist he was. Now it was time to put such things aside, don the baker’s hat, and learn to make bread.
His wife was a qualified gastroenterologist, and that was how they had met. Glennis had retired two years earlier than Englebert, and had taken up pastry making. She was very good at it. In fact, Englebert blamed her pastry success as being the cause of his growing rotundity.
Englebert’s first attempt at bread was disastrously inedible. Further attempts were described by wife Glennis as being the perfect vehicle for enjoying the taste of melted butter.
These days Englebert has become an expert at growing ranunculus in pots. Englebert is thinking of branching out and growing a greater variety. Already the number of pots on the patio has become a little disturbing. And on the porch. And in the living room. What he needs is a green house.
Quite frankly, Glennis wished he’d just stuck to bread making.
I had to google up what a proctologist was and I thought you were going to connect that to the bread making! I liked the story though. A person always needs distraction, even once he’s retired. So, Glennis should keep mum. She’s got her pastry making anyway! Good on Englebert for finding solace in growing ranunculus!
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I came across the word proctologist by accident and made him a proctologist for no other reason than I would use the word!
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I love ranunculus!
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After posting this and reading comments about people who had to look up ranunculus online, I went and ordered a dozen bulbs – all white. They were out of red ones, so I’m going to seek out some red ones today. The flowers that appear in our garden here are usually red ones and white ones. It’s just a little fad we have – red and white gladiolas, and red and white dahlias, and red and white petunias. And horrid bright yellow sunflowers that don’t fit in!
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That will look very nice, I do believe. Please treat us to a photo or two.
I also like anemones, but have to remember where to put the ns and the m. Our choir sang a pretty piece about this pretty flower, and we had a few stumbles at first.
How are you folks? You’ll soon be overrun with hordes of Aussies seeking a travel destination. Man the barriers.
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As long as the Aussies bring all their money we shall be happy! I have never been successful with anemones – although I did have success as a little kid but I think Mother may have been secretly helping! I shall work out how to post a photo in the comments – and you shall see the blaze of red and white. Work was slowly picking up but our biggest customer pulled out last night and is giving their custom to Japan to translate!
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Oh, what a bummer that is, losing a customer. Darn them.
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Here is a pic if I can get it up. I’ll send this and try editing it???? Can’t. How the heck do people attach a picture?
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I have a hunch we can’t plonk images into the comments. So, surprise us with a red and white header photo one day.
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Maybe learning another skill, like baking bread, or ever horticulture, might make for a more practical proctologist.
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Let’s hope he didn’t practice proctology in the kitchen.
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Oh, dear. Yes, I agree.
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It was alimentary that a proctologist should make a poor chef. He doubtlessly approached it from the wrong end. But with a friend like him, who needs enemas?
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A very poor specimen of a proctologist.
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At least it all came out OK in the end.
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Wiped the slate clean.
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Indeed. You would have thought a proctologist would know how to produce a good loaf. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know the source of the fertilizer that is the secret to his success with ranunculus.
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You’re on a roll today, Craig. I see that most of your comments have no colon or semicolon.
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Ha ha, yes, I’m a bit anal about proper punctuation and prefer my independent clauses to have clean endings.
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I bet you had clean endings at university in-test-time.
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That didn’t go anywhere near where I thought. When you say proctologist…I was expecting something else…but that is a good thing.
I had to look up ranunculus
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You were the only one I thought would not have to look up proctologist. Undoubtedly the proctologist looked up ranunculus many a time.
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Oh yea I know what a proctologist is… It surprised me that other people didn’t…but ranunculus on the other hand…
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Ranunculuses might not grow in your neck of the woods or maybe they are called by a different name that we can all spell.
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buttercups, spearworts and water crowfoots…. Buttercups I know…we have them everywhere here. I guess that is part of the family…I learn something from you every day it seems like…but this one I could never pronounce or spell.
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Good thing he didn’t succeed or he might have died of obesity!
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The process of getting fat can include most interesting hobbies.
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Just as well he gave up the bread or she’d probably be the victim of a poisoned loaf by now. Then again, any more ranunculus and maybe there’ll be poison in the pastry!
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You revel in intrigue!
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I’m more well read then well bread haha
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Yes – but are you well reared?
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