2071. Chuff chuff

Reginald was a model railway enthusiast. He had joined together two large tables in his attic and had thus far laid out a rail system for his three model trains. Over time he would add buildings and landscapes. Perhaps he would purchase them, or perhaps he might even learn to make some of them himself.

He loved to show off his trains and Humphrey, the new next door neighbour, was coming over. Would you believe? Humphrey had done a course on making model landscapes. He had trained as a garden designer. He’d gladly make Reginald buildings and landscape to complete things.

“It’s something I really enjoy doing,” said Humphrey. “Just tell me the things you want and I’ll have them all ready for you by Christmas.”

Reginald could hardly wait for Christmas. It was to be a surprise. No peeking! By now Humphrey was fast becoming a model train enthusiast himself. He would frequently be found in Reginald’s attic “taking measurements”, but really he was there to play with the trains.

Christmas came. Humphrey proudly produced the buildings and landscapes. They were horrible. Utterly horrible! And now Humphrey was coming over every day to enthusiastically play. Awful! Just awful! Awful awful awful!

Reginald couldn’t tell Humphrey to go suck eggs. He quickly lost all interest in model railways.