Norma had a saying which she oft cited: I’ve buried three husbands you know. If the truth be known, all three had died unnatural deaths. They had all been murdered.
Norma was exceedingly rich. She lived in a big house (these days alone). Her sole interest appeared to be her two pet canaries. She had a yellow canary and one with bits of yellow but it looked more like a sparrow. Only the yellow one ever sang, and usually with a melancholic air.
Norma had tried to breed them but she wasn’t sure if she had two girls, two boys, or one of each. Whatever the case, neither had made any attempt at making a nest.
Norma belonged to the local Caged Birds Association. There she met and befriended Gordon, mainly because she thought he might know how to sex birds. He did, and so Norma invited him to her house. Well! One thing led to another, and before you knew it they were married, and Gordon’s two pet canaries went into the same aviary as Norma’s two. In the blink of an eye one of Norma’s and one of Gordon’s were creating a nest together.
Norma was delighted with the success of her breeding program! So interesting! There were four fledglings! All grew into a bold yellow and sang with a melancholic air. They were a great consolation to Norma when she came to bury her fourth husband.
Priorities.
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She’s currently dating a guy who runs a pet shop.
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Someone’s leaving town in a litter.
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His name was Tom – possibly known as Ginger.
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If I’m being honest, Norma sounds a little catty.
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And she used to be so chirpy when she had the canaries.
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Yes, but they cause so many difficulties when your husband is a coal miner.
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Another reason to ban frackin’ coal mining.
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LOL! I see what you did there. I used a very similar word today when I dropped my laptop on some concrete. It survived, tg.
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Thank goodness you didn’t drop it on top of your lap.
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Has she looked into breeding other animals?
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Probably hippopotamuses possibly – (to be said flat out five times)
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😀
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The Police eventually worked out her methodology i.e. slowly adding poison to her husbands’ breakfasts. The press dubbed her The Cereal Killer.
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Doug – that is corny!
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Of course others dubbed her The Weetbix Widow.
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Keep these breakfast puns up Doug and you’re toast.
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Sometimes you egg people on.
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Some egg yolks crack me up.
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Only you can turn a saga of psychopathic morbidity into melancholic birdsongs.
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LOL! I would like a canary. Do you have a pet canary – or any pet? One of my favourite Katherine Mansfield short stories was called “The Canary”. I read it as a kid and am sure it has had a big influence on me way back then…
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I’d love to have a dog but my vagabond existence is not conducive to pets.
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A hard habit to break.
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This story is for the birds!
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Twitter twitter…
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