2024. A couple of cows and a few pigs

When Frank bought his little farmlet (big enough for a couple of cows and a few pigs and room to pursue his special hobby of growing asparagus) he never warmed to the guy who sold it to him. Harvey was the previous owner’s name. Harvey had lived alone, made stupid blunt observations, and couldn’t even crack a smile at any of Frank’s little break-the-ice jokes.

What Harvey clearly needed was a wife to moderate his bluntness and turn him into a human being. (Sorry if that sounds sexist but it works both ways). Having a wife and a few kids might have softened his edges a bit. Anyway, he was single and that was that. On the other hand, Frank was married but with no kids. His wife had certainly made him more open to other points of view. In fact, he had learned over a few years to agree with absolutely everybody about absolutely everything – and especially to agree with his wife. Oh! She could make life a living hell if he disagreed with her.

The small farm (apart from a rather attractive post-card cottage) had a hay barn and a garden shed. The hay barn was filled with hay bales. The hay would last Frank with his couple of cows for two or three years…

It was now his second year on the farm and things were going well with Frank. He would have to get more hay because it neared the end of the supply. Just six hay bales left. And then he noticed…

Sticking out the end of one of the bales were a couple of partly decomposed leg bones wearing bright blue stiletto heels.

That gave Frank an idea.

28 thoughts on “2024. A couple of cows and a few pigs

  1. Sarah Angleton

    You know, you write an awful lot of stories for a guy who wasn’t really going to do much of that anymore. Not that I’m complaining. It reminds me of Jay Leno bon the Yonight Show when he announced his retirement two years early and then returned to it shortly after finally leaving. But you’re funnier. And slightly more focused on spouse murder.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  2. badfinger20 (Max)

    Before the end I was thinking…Frank block her breathing tube! Then I realized…uh oh wrong story! Then as if by magic…a better idea presented itself!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
          1. badfinger20 (Max)

            I’ll never forget Parsley Stake… Bruce I hope you make this is a habit you keep for a while. Writing that is…and also
            You don’t want droopy chives!

            Bruce it’s depressing…I turned 54 today…I should be 18!

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply
            1. Bruce Goodman Post author

              Happy Birthday Max! I almost remember 54. Yesterday I was doing the family tree and my Uncle Roy died one month after turning 71. I turned 71 a month again! I abandoned my research immediately! Have a great day – and I’d hate to be 18 again.

              Liked by 1 person

              Reply
  3. Yvonne

    So, let me guess. Frank really liked those bright blue stiletto heeled shoes and went online to find some just like them, in his size? I honestly can’t think of any other idea he would have gotten.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Please feel free to spout, tout, flout, sprout, pout, or simply say something sensible

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s