No one was particularly enamoured with Ferdinand’s new wife, Portia. She was decidedly snobby. And fussy. Not only had she done up the house in an expensive manner, it was tasteless. For example, the carpet in the billiard room was a florescent image of Marilyn Monroe. It kind of glowed when the florescent lights above the billiard table were turned on.
Ferdinand’s parent’s, Elsie and Havisham, especially had not warmed to her, but had decided to make the most of a bad lot and visit and be generous and kind. What else could they do?
“And this,” spouted Portia, “is the renovated billiard room.” It was then that Havisham had a heart attack. It wasn’t a massive heart attack, but it was enough to make him vomit.
“The carpet!” screamed Portia. “You’re ruining the carpet.”
Later, after Havisham had made a full recovery, Elsie remarked, “Perhaps it wasn’t a heart attack at all. Perhaps it was Nature’s way of commenting on the carpet.”
LOL, had a good chuckle over this one. Thanks!
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My neighbor had Marilyn Monroe carpet!
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Ha! It felt too real to have been something you made up!
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Actually I lied! It was my landlords son with the carpet (years ago in Gastonia, North Carolina)!
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perfect!
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Nature tells us things in strange ways, sometimes.
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Thank goodness I’m from another planet.
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Probably makes things easier, I expect.
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Portia’s meanness has been measured well by the vomiting induced by heart attack of Havisham. Personally though, I would have preferred a sudden, uncontrollable incontinence.
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!!!!!!! I shall bear that in mind!
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She should have put Marilyn on the wall. Much harder for the vomit to reach her there.
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People might mistake the portrait of Marilyn with spew as abstract art.
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Would they be wrong?
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If I had a billiard room, I would have a Marilyn rig just like that, vomit stain and all.
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Thank goodness you don’t have a billiard room – or am I presuming too much?
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No billiard room. I don’t have a conservatory, either. But a girl can dream.
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No conservatory? There would be no where to grow your pot plants.
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That’s no problem. I grow those in the neighbor’s yard.
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And a good way to show what was really important to Portia!
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There’s only so much that money can buy – good taste for example!
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