1949. A guilt trip

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The arrival of certain story numbers on this blog sometimes contains an unsuspecting significance. In this case it is Story 1949. 1949 was the year I was born. The number surely demands something special?

Let me reveal something that maybe you never suspected.

Some mad people (they are mad people because I happen to know that things like that simply don’t happen) believe that at some stage they were abducted by aliens and experimented upon either in the alien space craft or taken to the home planet to be examined. What nonsense! I should know, because I am an alien implant.

I volunteered on my home planet to undergo a seventy-seven year or so stay on Planet Earth to better ascertain whether or not the planet would be worth taking over. Thus was I implanted in 1949 (Earth date) and born into what appeared to be normalcy.

Twenty years had not passed when I received a message that warfare on my home planet had erupted and, to make a long story short, my planet and all its inhabitants had been destroyed. This was not only sad but it created a problem for me because I no longer had reason to report back about Planet Earth. Nor do I know what I should do once the seventy-seven years or so are up. I can’t go on living here getting older and older without transmogrifying into something that Earthlings might consider strange.

So that’s where I’m at, at the moment. I’ll gladly take suggestions, but, PLEASE, no dingbats making ridiculous claims about “I too am an alien”. I know a good alien when I see one, and there are many charlatans on Planet Earth. There are perhaps more charlatans here than on any other inhabited planet in the universe.

Incidentally I know of only one other space alien currently on Planet Earth. She lives “overseas” and I have nothing to do with her. She’s from another planet from me altogether. Why would we need to work together? Can a horse and a cow join together to pull the same cart? (That is a saying once used on my home planet). Apparently she’s here to study cloud formation for a doctoral thesis. They’re so backward where she comes from.

There you have it! The number 1949 has certainly made me face the music. I’m actually feeling quite guilty that I haven’t told you about all this before.

28 thoughts on “1949. A guilt trip”

    1. Bruce Post author

      Ha ha! That reminds me – at High School we asked our old Maths teacher: “What was Halley’s Comet like the first time it came around?” To which he replied: “It was raining”.

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  3. craig

    If you happen to be in possession of a TARDIS you might consider zipping back to your home planet well prior to it unfortunate destruction. Of course, there must be some problem with that idea or else the doctor would have thought of it already. Failing that, I say just find some friends that aren’t put off by a wee bit of transmogrification. Good luck!

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  7. disorderlyjottings

    I too have given myself seventy seven or so years to try to work out whether planet Earth was worth the visit. On the whole, I’d say it has a lot going for it but agree with your comment to Sarah that it could do with new management. Commiserations on losing your home planet.

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    1. Bruce Post author

      Thanks Simon – and delighted to see you emerge into the light – at least the light in my little solar system. I hope your academic progress went well over those months of pursuit. Are you continuing the studies this academic year? I am doing ok – hope you and yours are too. I have 6 poems being published in an anthology (by invitation!) from a publishing company in Wisconsin. Another 80 anthologies or so and I should be famous. I trust you garden is currently in full production mode.

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      1. disorderlyjottings

        Garden has been wonderfully productive this year which makes a balanced contrast with myself. Have completed my studies but not yet got all results in. Will not be continuing academic route, at least not this year. I rather like dancing to my own fiddle and though having a timetable has some advantages I’ve spent at leat 50 of my 62 years following someones else’s. Seems like a good place to bring a bit of balance to this…

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  8. umashankar

    It is perfectly understandable, or shall I say elementary, dear alien, the fact of yours getting mushy over the number 1949. What is incomprehensible though is why you have withheld the names of the other three members of the trope sent to planet Earth, namely Richard Gere, Meryl Streep and Billy Joel? Something is afoot! Now I am going to be wary of the number 77.

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    1. Bruce Post author

      There are certainly lots of aliens about but many of them are so inferior that they’re not worth the time of day. Audrey McDonald who lives just up the road from me is a typical example: thick as two planks and almost reptilian.

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