Dear Heart Throb
I really don’t know who to turn to. I am eighteen and my uncle’s wife claims to have information on me that could prove embarrassing. I don’t know whether to confront her about it or ignore it and hope it goes away. She claims to have photos of me in a compromising situation even though I know I’ve never been in a compromising situation like that. It’s amazing how photographs can be doctored these days to make them look real. Any suggestions?
Disgruntled Nephew.
Dear Disgruntled Nephew
You seem like a nice young man. How awful to be accused of being in a compromising situation and never having been in a compromising situation. You’ve got the worst of both worlds.
May I suggest you make a list of possible compromising situations – experiences that theoretically would embarrass you if knowledge of them got out into the public arena. An example could be getting videoed while stealing something valuable from a shop; or being caught having an affair with a popular film star. Things like that. Then choose one from the list and GO OUT AND DO IT. Make sure it gets noticed and recorded, and then leave it in a place where your uncle’s wife will find it. Doctoring photographs simply doesn’t work. She’ll want the genuine stuff. You’ll find that often the general population will be in awe of you and your compromising situation. You’ll be something of a celebrity.
Hope this helps.
Heart Throb
My first thought was what would embarrass an 18 year old these days?
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Yeah – well that’s true! However one mustn’t let reality ruin a good story!
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Excellent advice.
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I knew you’d like it.
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My God did I needed this laugh. Great read Bruce. Please be compromising everyone and don’t feel any the worse.
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Glad you enjoyed it Matthew!
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I am planning my situation as I reply to you!
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I hope your planned compromising situation is shareable.
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Of course! Why go to all the trouble to be caught at it otherwise?
Oh, I remember someone else giving me good advice when I was agonising over yet another dumb thing I had done. He said “Imagine that as a headline in a newspaper, with someone else’s name replacing yours. Would you forgive that person?” I’ve had to apply that pub test quite often in my life! Most times, forgiveness came easily.
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That is very sage advice you were given. If it was someone else’s name I probably wouldn’t be that that interested in the newspaper article!
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I agree with the first caller, what could embarrass a modern teenager? I know the suspension of disbelief is important in reading fiction, but…
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Clearly my character was a very sensitive person – as all of them always are!
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Snort!
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Well, I’m not sure it was good advice. He should just have drugged her and searched her house for the compromat. Then he could have taunted her with publishing whenever she brought it up.
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You’re much much too worldly wise for a gardener, Lisa.
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I’ve been reading blogs…
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Ha HA! 🙂
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The mentor is a genius! It is obvious to the older eyes such as ours though that the aunt is having designs on the nephew.
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Yes – that’s the direction I was heading when writing the story – and not improbably her intentions stayed!
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In which case, write us a sequel please.
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