1891. On talking to a telegraph pole

I’m constantly amazed at how stupid some space aliens really are. The other day I caught one having a conversation with a telegraph pole. A telegraph pole!

I said, “You’re talking to a telegraph pole you stupid idiot. It’s not a living thing; it’s just a pole for holding up wires. It’s inanimate.”

“Oh yeah,” it said. (I’m not sure with the aliens if it’s a girl or a boy. Possibly neither. I read, apparently they breed like mushrooms. Sort of clouds of spores. I’d better watch out! Ha ha!) It continued: “Perhaps if you tried talking to a telegraph pole yourself you’d realize they are not as inanimate as you might think. Here! Try it!”

“Hello telegraph pole. How are you today?” I said.

Suddenly there was a cloud of spores floating all around me. I said that these spores were like mushroom spores, but really it was like a pollen explosion in a pine forest. I was so immersed in the all-pervading floating pollen that I could hardly see the alien. It was smiling in a ghostly manner; it was mesmerizing. Quite frankly it was grotesque.

Anyway, I had to dash off home. I was so excited, as was my wife. I just realized something then and there. Poof! In a flash! We’re going to have a baby! Possibly tomorrow morning.

30 thoughts on “1891. On talking to a telegraph pole

  1. Timothy Price

    You gotta be carful out there. To be honest with you, I’ve had more interesting conversations with telephone poles than a lot of people around here. We have lots of aliens around these parts: Greys (most common), Nordics, Tall Whites (often get mistaken for La Llorona), Reptilians (Al Gore is a reptilian), Insectoids, Anunnaki, Andromedans, etc.

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    1. Bruce Post author

      I didn’t realize your part of the world was so spore-ridden. It must be hard to breath at times. Some of the names sound a bit like alcoholic beverages. How do I get there?

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        1. Bruce Post author

          I once had to stop my car on a busy highway to let a coyote casually cross the road. (It was heading for Tuscan AZ however). I leaned out the car window and said to the coyote, “You ain’t chicken are you?” No Bugs Bunny, but the Road Runner was there.

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          1. Timothy Price

            Coyotes can be quite bold. Lucky for them, and us, that road runners are not much bigger than they are or they’d be eating us and the coyotes for dinner. Road runners always size you up in consideration of trying to take you down.

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            1. Bruce Post author

              I couldn’t believe – coming from a foreign country and never having seen these cartoon characters in the flesh – how accurate the cartoons were. I didn’t need to ask, What’s that? I knew! Even the Beep! Beep!

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    1. Bruce Post author

      I hear that good staff are hard to come by these days. Working with patients such as yourself in the psych ward has never been popular.

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    1. Bruce Post author

      Great Scot! Anyone with the key to the medication trolley is worth knowing. I had to type that out twice -the first time it was: Amupmr wkt nwe kwy to tne eso arkl;m trp;;jis prth knowiung. My computer is forever auto-correcting.

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