1870. Quotations and Announcement

I said a day ago that this week I’d do a couple of self-indulgent postings. This is the second. It could be fun, since it will rightly never be done in real life, to pretend astonishing fame and glean quotations from various theatre plays I’ve written over the years and present them as if in a quotation anthology!

No sooner were these words out (and this is true!) than an email arrived saying that six of my poems had been selected by a publisher in Wisconsin for an international anthology! I had been invited last November to submit some poems. More about that at a later date. Thank goodness my portrait shown below had already been hung in the National Vallery otherwise I’d need to go for a more pretentious look. In fact I had a terrible time taking the selfie this morning while everyone was still asleep. I didn’t want anyone to see and think that vanity was a motivation. My right hand is on the computer mouse to press the button. What a relief I had a post-lockdown haircut yesterday. But enough about me – here’s more about me!

Famous Quotations by Cloven Ruminant
whose portrait hangs in the National Vallery

I don’t know fancy names for coffee. Just give me the stuff with the fluff on. – Café Play (1998)

It’s a great mystery – how we pass by. It’s sort of… meaningless. – River Songs (1994)

I just killed what would have become the ancestor of the first intelligent moth. – Here Legends Lie (1993)

There was no need for you to tell me that what I was doing was a waste of time. I have to do something. – Voyage in a Boat (1989)

A real man does shrimp cocktails and garlic bread. No, no. Not my Arnold. Over done. Over boiled. – Deep End (1992)

So you’ll be sitting on the veranda in the still of the evening will you, barely changed from your wedding gown, and be admiring each other’s brains? – Cloud Mother (1990)

There’s a great silence before a funeral. As if heaven waits to let them in. – Sheer Silence (1999)

Just because I say I want two budgerigars doesn’t mean to say I want two blue ones. – Café Play (1998)

It was a satire – like “King Lear”. – Zachustra (1993)

I’ll not be sitting here day after day taking all this muck from two tarts when you could be up in the rigging swinging with a sailor and doing whatever it is your profession demands. – Cloud Mother (1990)

It’s all very well for Thingy in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” to fall in love with Who-dacky by taking a bit of stuff but with… you think I’m wandering don’t you? – Um (1997)

There’s so little we know. About what goes on. It’s best to be guilty. – The Chimney (1996)

All straight lines in the universe are human lines – have you noticed? – and I can’t stay on a straight line. Straight lines are perfection, and I can’t be perfect. I can’t. – Secundus (1992)

I don’t want a happy marriage. I want a tragic marriage. It’s very fashionable. – Fishbone in the Blancmange (1997)

Although he was computer savvy, he died drunk, unhappy, friendless, twisted and embittered. – Weave a Web Blog (2020)not from a play but I thought I’d throw it in because it’s rather amazing to discover that it’s more than 20 years since I wrote a play. The “quotation” is not biographical!

Thanks for reading. There’s over 60 plays (I think) if anyone these days ever wants to do one!

 

47 thoughts on “1870. Quotations and Announcement

  1. dumbestblogger

    Is this post satirical? Like “King Lear?”

    But honestly, you do know how to write a zinger. I liked the line from “A Passing Shower” about how being profound just happens, and it’s pointless to try. Yes, I know I butchered it.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Cloven Ruminant Post author

      They’re actually all quotations – but I did them all from memory so the occasional conjunction might be misplaced. And, yes, I know the Passing Shower quot.you mean. “Cloud Mother” was possibly the most profound of all the plays – and the most successful with the season of full houses being extended. Although some people hated the play!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. João-Maria

    I don’t think you warrant the manufacturing of any sort of grandeur, Bruce, since I find you grand enough already. The post was awesome nonetheless. Congratulations on the international anthology! I’ve always been teeth-and-claw against literary magazines, which I find to often be to my detriment, but I will surely purchase this one (if they ship internationally).

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Cloven Ruminant Post author

      Thanks João-Maria. I regretted posting this the minute I had but had spent an hour fiddling with my selfie I had just taken trying to turn it into a statue. In the end I thought blow, turned it into a portrait and posted it! At least I got rid of it out of my head.
      I don’t know much about the anthology yet except there are 37 poets from 5 countries. Two of the poets I follow on the blogs (although one is dead in real life!) and the rest I don’t even know the names of.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
      1. Yvonne

        I am very proud of you for landing a role in an anthology. You are truly either a polymath or a renaissance man, or maybe just some dude who lives in a pretty darn beaut country.

        (Is it Cynthia who will also feature in the anthology?)

        What next for our BA?

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  3. João-Maria

    Oh wow I didn’t even realise it was you in the picture. So stern, stolid, abulic and phlegmatic (I play a lot of Scrabble).
    I’m unnaturally opposed to the recycled complex of literary magazines, anthologies, and often times, even collections! I’m a digital thinker, I defend a model of compensation that passes only through the reader and the author, no mediums, no economic fluxes, no editors filtering what ought to be read and not. It just seems odd to me, that intermediate membrane. I find it useless and a nuisance.
    I’m hopeful that — if I’m ever to sell my work — I’ll have alternatives available to me. I don’t mind only being read by two and half folks, I just want to be sure that I respect the time, resources and intelligence of those folks, and their ability to choose what they want to read.
    But I really, really understand the need of some authors of things such as magazines and anthologies, especially those who aren’t savvy with social media or don’t have the time to foster constant readerships and relationships with other authors and readers.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Cloven Ruminant Post author

      Thanks for the stern, stolid, abulic and phlegmatic aspect of your comment. If you end up having only 2 and a half readers I bags being the half! I sort of agree with you re editors, mediums, etc. It why I think I would have liked to have been a pub poet, nordic bard. It’s also why I hated having any of my plays “workshopped” How dare they change it!

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
      1. João-Maria

        Speaking of which, you absolutely MUST email me some plays eventually. If they have any religious or social themes, I would be especially thankful, since I have a thematic affinity with things I’m not good at.

        Liked by 2 people

        Reply
        1. Cloven Ruminant Post author

          I shall wait until your exams are well and truly over! I have one play that I can think of that is specifically religious – it is a full-length and is about Margaret Clitherow, an English saint, who was put to death basically for not allowing her children to testify against her in court.

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
              1. João-Maria

                No, I had preexisting knowledge. I know everything, Bruce. Did you know that purple dye was made from crushing caracoles, a practice common in ancient Carthage and Tyre, hence the name of the colour “tyrian purple”?
                Bet you didn’t, Bruce!

                Liked by 1 person

                Reply
                1. Cloven Ruminant Post author

                  There’s nothing more painful than a crushed caracole. There was a trans-sexual strip club near where/when I went to school called “The Purple Onion”. I could see myself draped in Tyrian Purple.

                  Liked by 1 person

                  Reply
  4. Sarah Angleton

    I am a great fan of a good quote. I will choose a few of these to hang up in my office so that someday when I’m famous and dead, some historical society will preserve the space where I constructed my masterpieces and there on the wall for all the tens of visitors to see will be the words of a wise and creative ruminant.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
      1. Daedalus Lex

        Yes, great idea! I did hear about a production wherein that opening scene was filled with party hats and a surreal Lear being whisked about in a wheelchair as he laid down the law with those pesky daughters. That also sounded promising.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  5. arlingwoman

    Congratulations on the poems. That’s really great. And it’s nice to hear Cynthia will be in it as well. Was going to ask that, but Yvonne already did. I do like your quotes, too.They brightened my day and made me wonder what the plays were about.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  6. badfinger20 (Max)

    Congratulations on the spot in the Anthology Bruce! IF that is who you really are.

    “There’s so little we know. About what goes on. It’s best to be guilty.”

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

I delight in having my dull life coloured by your intelligent perceptions, your wit, and your vivacity.

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