Velma Clout was having a bad morning. It wasn’t twenty-four hours since her boyfriend of eighteen months had left her. And what a relief it was. But the morning saw her with a mighty headache and a massive hangover. She had celebrated the boyfriend’s rejection with a wee bottle of wine or two. Honestly, his leaving was what she herself had wanted to do for a good several months but she was too nice. But now it had happened and there was no going back. If only she had celebrated with more restraint and then she could enjoy his absence without feeling like death warmed up.
Her cell phone rang.
It was her boyfriend of eighteen months. Did she want to get back together? He was upset. He had made a mistake. He knew only too well that Velma wouldn’t have the heart to say “No!”
“Yes!” said Velma. “I’ll see you here for lunch.”
Oh why did she do that? Why why why? Why was she so stupid? So silly? So weak? Why why why? Why couldn’t she take a stand?
Suddenly, grabbing a bag of stuff and her purse, Velma got in her car and headed for a day’s outing at the beach. It was for her the first independent thing she had done in ages. She was now the one doing the breaking up; not him. Oh the freedom that went with that! Velma wound down the car window and sang her heart out fortissimo. It was 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover all the way to the seaside.
I stan Velma. She deserves better. Her boyfriend seems like a total dweeb, and the way she went about leaving him was totally tubular.
Anyway, peace out, my goat!
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Thank you for such a cheerful comment to brighten my Monday morning, Baaa.
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I must admit, the fact that you’re always one day ahead of me is a bit spoopy. It’s as if I’m talking to the future.
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Yeah – I find it hard being ahead and not telling everyone tomorrow’s winning lottery numbers. and I enjoy being spoopy – it makes me feel,,, well.. spoopy.
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You mock me but spoopy is part of internet slang, which is the theme I decided to go with regarding today’s comments.
Tubular, my dude.
Wish me luck in criticising all the literatures.
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I’m so un-media-socialized. At least I won’t pick up a disease from it. Yes, I do wish you lots of luck, but more so I wish you a worthwhile reward for all your hard work, I was going to send you a telegram wishing you the best but the phone company didn’t know what I was talking about. Anyway, my dude, dear João-Maria, may you shake all the leaves in the examiner’s tree as I suspect you will!
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I love this! The song made it. Yup 50 ways and she found one of them.
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Thanks, Lisa! I hope the story got you singing it all day!
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it’s good to dance to as well…
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Ha! Indeed!
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Thanks for the ear worm. Velma was right.
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I hope she practised social distancing!
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Good point. Hopefully she stays distanced from the boyfriend.
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He might not recognize under with the mask on.
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Very true…
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There is an entire science for enabling people saying no. Then there is the Paul Simon song.
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Presumably the song is not Bridge Over Troubled Water!
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Beaches are nice.
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Too much sand.
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It’s ok as long as it’s wet.
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There are a number of ways of wetting it – and I’ve just spent an hour trying to think of something funny to say on your brilliant posting today (https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/16911315/posts/2793282673) so I haven’t been doing nothing (or merely wetting sand).
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Lolz. Understandable.
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