1862. Large family

Hi. My name is Nona. My mother named me that. My father apparently didn’t like the name much because it means “ninth” and I happened to be only the third.

“But I want a Nona,” said my mother.

“Who the hell is going to pay for all those babies if we have nine?” asked my father. So my mother, not to be stymied by silly particulars, named me Nona even though I was only number three.

These days Nona is not a very common name, mainly I suspect because people don’t have large families anymore and to get up to nine children could be scorned upon by the disparaging masses. I like having a not-so-common name. I have a younger brother called Octavius and an even younger sister called Decima.

Once my father abandoned the family, not long after I was born, my mother met my stepfather. By the time my mother and stepfather had reached number nine they couldn’t use Nona so they named number nine after the number three because three hadn’t been used. That is why I have a younger sister called Triana. Strictly speaking I should have been named Triana and my sister named Nona.

People these days stare if we all go out together. Just the other day my mother took all ten of us to the zoo and we went by bus. No sooner had we all sat down than an old lady asked my mother in a very loud voice, “Are they all yours, Sweetie?”

My mother said, Yes” and the old lady said “Goodness, that’s a lot. Aren’t you embarrassed?” I was so mortified.

When we got home from the zoo I heard my mother ask my stepfather what the Latin name was for Eleven.

26 thoughts on “1862. Large family

  1. Gifford MacShane

    I was the second of 7 children myself (those times were much different). When my parents were deciding on baby boy names, my father kept insisting on “Saul”. My mother hated it and finally asked him why he was so fixated on it. “Because when people ask me which child it is, I want to be able to say ‘That’s Saul!” He was a great one for puns.

    PS. Baby was named Keith.

    Liked by 4 people

      1. badfinger20 (Max)

        Well Martha, Molly, and Snoops will be counted!

        Joking aside…I do envy people from bigger families. All I have is one sibling.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Bruce Goodman Post author

          Punch the living daylights out of them – I dream of having a large family, but sadly have creative none. Children (in my opinion) is the most creative thing a man (and woman) can do. Forget about f***ing blogs!


        2. Bruce Goodman Post author

          Your comment seems to have disappeared – as has my response. I don’t know what button I wrongly pressed but what the heck… My family was 6 – I would’ve liked double that.


  2. umashankar

    That is an incorrigible procreator with absolute clarity of thoughts and commendable grit. Unfortunately, her partners in crime weren’t up to the act and created uncalled for confusions. Humour is infectious, as is the embarrassment of the narrator of the story whom you have employed as a catalyst. Nevertheless, she is suffused with requisite flesh and brains.

    Liked by 3 people


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