1859. A page in history

(The following is a translation of Page 276 from a history book, published in the year of what we would have at some stage numbered 2084AD. Incidentally, the translation was made and pre-posted on Word Press over two months ago!)

When President Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng discovered North America (now called New China) the voyage was based on calculations presuming the world was round. The sphericalness of the planet was initially devised by the calculations of that early Chinese mathematician, Yáng Fāng Lì, over five thousand years ago.

All hail to Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng
Who expanded the borders of the world
And brought enlightenment to the people of New China.

The statue of President Khổng Xiùlán Qiáng, which graces what was once known as the Lincoln Memorial, is a replica of his image on Mt Rushmore – once the old images on Mt Rushmore had been dynamited off. The statue in the capital, New Beijing, was erected to commemorate our great leader’s initiative in curing cancer and also being the first person to walk on Mars.

Together we will work for the common good, striving to put into practice the dictates of the United Nations: All are created equal once the world has been purged of tyranny and once those who espoused non-compliant views have been silenced.

All hail to Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng
Who expanded the borders of the world
And brought enlightenment to the people of New China.

Footnote: President Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng recently approved the erection of a giant statue of herself to replace the Washington Monument. It is to celebrate her change of name to Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng from

(continued on next page – page 277)

33 thoughts on “1859. A page in history

  1. João-Maria

    Bīngbáo, Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng, for your joyful guidance through the tenebrous paths of this world, and for founding New Lisbon in 2093AD, in which I live and worship your boundless and exurgent leadership.
    Bīngbáo, Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng!
    Kétóu, Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng!

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      Google translate detected
      Bīngbáo, Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng!
      Kétóu, Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng! as being Uzbek, and translated it as:
      Bīngbáo, Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng!
      Kétóu, Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng!
      I guess that makes me bilingual.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
      1. João-Maria

        But, Bruce, there is only one language, that of our leader, Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng. The language of Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng is one that expresses in absolute everything one feels absolutely, and thus, obliterates the need for any other mode of expression. Thank you, Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng!
        Bīngbáo, Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng!
        Kétóu, Yáng Xiùlán Qiáng!

        Liked by 2 people

        Reply
          1. João-Maria

            Bruce, my mother had nothing to do with this. I’m honestly very saddened that you’d call her, excuse my Chinese, “a teethless, rotted wench”. She’s a lot of things, but she doesn’t charge for any of them, I’ll have you know.

            Liked by 2 people

            Reply
  2. umashankar

    That is a startling piece of satire that gives a succinct voice to the simmering apprehensions of the planet, as also the gargantuan ambitions of the Middle Kingdom in that era at the onset of the Millennium. Reminiscent of even earlier classic, 1984, but an imminent reality then, it captures the methods of the megalomaniac state in all its madness and cold-blooded execution, and presents a prophetic survey of the events that would unfold later. The author has overcome the seeming anachronism of the narration with devices available to the genre of science fiction in an ingenious manner, even if there is no explicit hint of employment of time travel. He has thus underscored his boundless ability to surprise and entertain his readers which indeed was the reason of his popularity in the first quartile of the 21st century.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  3. Sarah Angleton

    It’s about time to tear down the Washington Monument I think. As a person who identifies as female I am deeply wounded by the phallic nature of said monument and the oppressive nature of our gender normative history which it clearly represents.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

I delight in having my dull life coloured by your intelligent perceptions, your wit, and your vivacity.

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