1856. The fart cushion

Hilton was a little bit surprised when he opened his birthday present from Jude. Jude had been a life-long friend but lived far away. They still remembered each other’s birthdays and would send gifts through the mail. This year Jude had sent Hilton one of those trick fart cushions that you put on a chair and it sounds like someone farts loudly when they sit on it.

A fart cushion – or a whoopee cushion, whatever they’re called these days – was funny the first time; like back in 1842AD when Hilton saw (or rather heard) his first one. These days they were about as funny as a tetraplegic in a three-legged race. Why Jude had sent him one for his birthday was anyone’s guess.

Hilton wrote to Jude thanking him for his gift. Ha ha ha! said Hilton. It was great fun thank you. He fooled his three year old grandson who thought it was a scream. And so, Jude, it brought much joy on my birthday!

Hilton never worked out why Jude had sent him such a stale trick that was both useless and unfunny, and Jude never said. Which possibly explains why none of us, dear Reader, have the slightest clue either.

21 thoughts on “1856. The fart cushion

  1. João-Maria

    That’s when Hilton discovered that the whoopee cushion was filled with a pernicious miasma that was slowly gnawing away his entire family.
    Oh, Jude, when are you going to learn to stop trucidating entire families.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      I’ve spent all day wondering why everyone was talking about Jude – and it took a very clever person such as yourself to point it out. I shall correct it once the excitement dies down.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. arlingwoman

    Who thinks about why someone would send a whoopee cushion? The first thought needs to be “Who can I trick into sitting on this?” That’s after squeezing it to see if the noise it makes is realistic….

    Liked by 2 people


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