Destiny said she didn’t marry her husband’s job; she married her husband. Quite frankly, she hated her husband’s job; cows, cows, cows. All he did every morning was milk cows. All he did every afternoon was milk cows. Was there ever time off?
Roman was doing his best. He’d grown up on a dairy farm. Dairy farming was all he knew. He’d worked hard throughout his teens. His father left Roman the farm. He built a special house on it for his widowed mother. He met and married Destiny. That was about his life.
Destiny didn’t merely love Roman; she fell in love with the prestigiousness of his habitation. How wonderful to live on a farm! How wonderful to have all this space! A house! A garden! Some chickens! A pet calf for the children when children came along! Fresh milk! All her friends married labourers of one sort or another; plumbers, carpenters, truck drivers. They lived in hovels in town. She lived in a mansion; more of a manor. She alone had married into proper bliss.
Can’t you take some time off so we can get away? asked Destiny.
The cows can’t not be milked.
Pay someone else to do it.
We can’t afford to do that yet.
Since a while Roman’s mother cooked one decent meal a day and brought it over. Destiny has gone off somewhere in pursuit of happiness. It’s all over. Roman wished he could get out sometimes and perhaps meet someone nice. If only he could find someone to milk the cows say one night a week.
Success! He found Ned Burton’s daughter from up the road to milk the cows on Thursdays. Betty knew the ropes; she was brought up on a farm. In fact, Betty helped milk the cows twice a day every day of the week. And on his day off Roman would give her a hand to milk. He didn’t need to look too far to find someone nice.
This was sweet. I was expecting Roman to marry one of the cows or something; one never knows with you. Either that or Roman just suddenly has a stroke and falls flat on some dung, where he suffocates.
It’s truly anyone’s guess.
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Ha ha! One day I’m going to make a list just to see the proportion of deaths in these stories as compared to nice plots. Also – are there more female murderers than male?
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I hope there’s parity. You don’t want a discrimination case on you in 2020, Bruce. Women are just as capable of efficient murder, and they deserve the equal opportunity to soft flesh.
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My concern is that women far out numbered men in murderous intent in these stories!
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Growing up in dairy country I thought this was a true story. It happens this way sometimes.
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Growing up on a dairy farm we milked cows twice a day 365 days a year! There was no such thing as a day off!
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No sir. Plus everything else that goes with it.
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Happiness is often found just down the road.
Yes, please do a spread sheet on the data from the stories where someone didn’t come out alive.
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It’s going to take days!
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Do it for your loyal followers!
Actually, I probably have more time on my hands than you. I could start the project from your earliest posts. I can include method as a parameter. Let me know the other categories you want.
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That could be fun! I shall have to think up parameters. I shall be in touch. I haven’t seen a single grocery list (in the shops) for yonks but always look!
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As a fellow farm kid, I counted the odds and moved to the big city where I found love. My brother who stayed on the farm is single. I blame math.
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I too moved away from the farm – two roads diverged in a yellow woof… – looking back I think I would have liked to stay on the farm – especially now since the government put a big highway right through the middle of the farm and paid the new owners HUGE compensation!
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Money is nice! That’s probably the easiest way to make it as a farmer too.
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Having said the money bit, I think I would’ve been happier as a farmer instead of getting post-graduate degrees in English Reformation Lute Music.
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Having said the money bit, I think I would’ve been happier as a farmer instead of getting post-graduate degrees in English Reformation Lute Music.
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At least you have a cool garden now.
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Yes – but the garden is not big enough!
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I hear that Nebuchadnezzar hung his gardens, maybe you could utilize that method to stack gardens on top of each other?
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Nebuchadnezzar was certainly well-hung, which is a quality I emulate. It’s the cows leaning over the fence and devouring everything they can reach that needs attending to.
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A problem easily solved by placing the gardens above their reach. Ergo, two birds with one stone.
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But what if the cows come on stilts?
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Good question. You’re a step ahead of me. Hadn’t thought about that one.
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One of my mother’s cousins married a dairy farmer. Never a day off. Good Roman found a nice farm girl!
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My (maternal) grandmother married my Dairy farming grandfather who promptly went to hospital with recurring WWI injuries. She was a city girl and went over to the neighbour’s to ask how to milk a cow! She managed very well apparently! In those days it was all milking by hand.
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That would make a novel. She had some courage.
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My (maternal) grandmother married my Dairy farming grandfather who promptly went to hospital with recurring WWI injuries. She was a city girl and went over to the neighbour’s to ask how to milk a cow! She managed very well apparently! In those days it was all milking by hand.
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Before I could become allergic, nay, hyper allergic, to milk, the author found Betty, nay, a jetty!
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Are you in fact allergic (as is my dog and a niece) to milk?
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I am not sure. Of late, my tummy can’t take more than a cuppa of the white liquid.
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I have developed a sudden and dramatic allergy to peanuts. Thank goodness I wasn’t born an elephant.
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Or a squirrel, or monkey.
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Another gold digger after Roman’s farm.
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That was so sweet. I figured Destiny was going to murder all the cows.
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“The Case of the Bovine Murderer”.
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