Look! It’s not Maxine’s fault that her husband was a sour-puss from the second he stepped onto the cruise liner. Gordon was determined to make Maxine’s longed-for cruise as unpleasant as possible. There were several reasons for this: Maxine had been planning this cruise for a year and Gordon was sick of her going on and on about it. Also Gordon was worried, if the cruise was a success, that she’d want to waste even more of their hard-earned savings year after year on further cruises.
They had been befriended by a Mr. and Mrs. Calvin and Gail Harlick of Cabin 1763. He was a buffoon if ever there was one, although Gail was quite nice. Actually a little more than quite nice, Gordon thought. But Calvin went on and on about nothing. He would monopolize the conversation at dinner and it would inevitably be about himself. The only saving grace at dinner was that Gail sitting opposite would affectionately rub the calf of Gordon’s leg with the toe of her high heels. It was their little joke.
Maxine and Gordon were always invited back to Cabin 1763 for a little drink after the meal, but so far they hadn’t accept the invitation. And then a storm hit. It was so rough that the passengers were confined to their quarters for a brief time. Gordon insisted he and Maxine go up onto the deck. “This storm is the only exciting thing to have happened thus far on the trip.”
That was when Maxine gave Gordon a push over the side, saying “Go join Gail Harlick.”
Steadying herself against the railing, Maxine made her way to Cabin 1763.
Win win situation for all.
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Indeed! The story was inspired by my sister stuck on a cruise liner during the pandemic somewhere in the vicinity of Indonesia. I don’t think she pushed anyone overboard but was no doubt tempted.
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I hope your sister is ok. Cruises are not for me. I’d want someone to push me overboard if I ever found myself on one.
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I wouldn’t like it much either. She (my sister) is home now and none the worse for wear.
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Glad to hear she didn’t find the swim from Indonesia too arduous. (Seriously, I’m glad she’s home safe. The only thing worse than a cruise is being stuck on a cruise, I imagine. Nah, I know people love those things, but it must have been frightening)
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She said the crew were fantastic. She’d never met such rude people in her life as the rich passengers!
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Yeah, makes sense.
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Gordon wouldn’t be so crabby anymore.
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Dead people are usually relatively pliable.
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Mental note: Don’t piss the wife off on a cruise.
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The internet is full of such useful advice.
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But I do like pissing her off at times. It’s the tug of war that makes it fun.
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I know the feeling!
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That whole thing with Gail was a pretty funny little joke though. I mean, Maxine wouldn’t have thought it was funny. But what you don’t know can’t hurt you.
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This is one of those frightfully badly constructed stories where I have to keep re-reading it to see who is who.
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I drew out the character diagram on my white board, so it wasn’t an issue on this end.
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You have a white board? What’s wrong with chalk? That’s the trouble with the modern generation.
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Most people my age give me grief cause it isn’t smart. You just can’t win.
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I knew it. The trouble started when they came up with the ball-point pen.
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What’s a pen?
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LOL. It’s the thing that’s mightier than the sword.
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Oh yeah, that thing. Something’s starting to ring a bell.
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Interesting he suggested going up on deck during the storm out of meanness. It just goes to show that unpleasantness can be its own reward. Heh, heh. Good for her.
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Hence the expression “When push comes to shove”!
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I loved the atmosphere, the journey and the end.
PS: Where is my friend Bruce Goodman?
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I just thought I’d add a bit of (temporary) class to my blog. It’s all my names in the earliest form I could find: Bruce Bernard Peers-Goodman. My mother’s maiden name was Peers.
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Nice blog
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I thought you’d plan a different sort of wife swap!
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Chelsea – this blog has high ethical standards!
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I can tell!
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Haha 😂 I was hoping I wouldn’t be the only one who thought that!
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Wonderful Sir Brieuse Bernhand Piers-Guomund! Romance in the stormy seas with a hint of horror. Now would you be kind to pass the caviar. I think it’ll go well with the Sherry.
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Hee hee Nitin! The name change is both experimental and temporary. The last name doesn’t have an “o” in it but a ð – Guðmund – which is a tilted d with a line through it. Apparently it is called an eth, is Old English, and is pronounced sort of the way it’s spelt. It’s my current favourite letter of the alphabet!
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Guðmund gives it even more class. I didn’t realise. Well, make sure you invite me to foie gras with the queen. Last time I met her, she was a meat and potatoes woman!
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She eats caviar on a slice of supermarket bread,
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I think the diet symbolises the two houses of the British parliament.
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Ha! How common!
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Indeed your Lordship. Wait! Your just Bruce again. Damn!
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I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
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I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
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You’re damnit! Make sure no Grammar Nazi sees this
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I don’t think the your here is apostrophied. Your Majesty, Your Holiness, Your Eminence, Your Worship… I’ve never thought about it before!
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Not that Your lol. The other one – You’re just Bruce again
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Ha ha ha ha ha ha! It’s 4.54 in the morning here – what do you expect!
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Nice blog and great post btw
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Thanks, dear Nitin!!
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See? Another vindictive wife! I’d love to see how the spouses talked their way out of this!
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Vindictiveness in wives seems to be coming a bit of a habit in these stories. I shall change my ways!
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I did fear a swinging ending, but thankfully it was murder after all!
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I never noticed the swinging end possibility until I’d finished writing it. Ending in murder clearly shows my natural ethical stance.
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