1810. Creative names

“One shouldn’t,” said Angel, “simply name ones children with a name you like. They should be named associated with any event or circumstance that surrounds their birth. To call someone ‘Jane’ is meaningless. One could choose the weather of the birth day instead with Rain or Sunshine or Cloud or 90%-Chance-of-Precipitation. One could choose world events and come up with names such as Africa or Iran or Qurghonteppa, depending on the news. One could call a boy (or even a girl) Arachnid if there was an infestation of spiders at the time; even Funnel Web or Chilean Recluse.

The exciting thing was that Angel was expecting twins. She secretly hoped that they would be born on the very day they were expected: the first day of May. That way she would name them May and Day. (Twins should always rhyme where possible).

But they weren’t born on the expected day. Angel named them according to the events in which they were born. One has to be honest. One has to be true to oneself. Mother and I-Feel-like-Shit-Warmed-Up and Snot are doing well.

24 thoughts on “1810. Creative names

    1. Bruce Post author

      There was in yesterday’s deaths here in the paper – N. loved daughter of N. and Corona. In fact, I wrote a story using it, but the story won’t appear for a couple of months as I have a backlog!

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  1. umashankar

    Some people have named their offspring Corona and Covid in India. Some others have named theirs X Æ A-12 in USA. To each his own, but children should be given a chance to redeem themselves of execrable tags foisted upon them during infancy.

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    1. Bruce Post author

      One poor girl in New Zealand had the name of Kalula Does the Hula in Hawaii. She told everyone that her name was Kay. The judge ordered that she could change her name (free of charge) to Kay. The parents should’ve been shot.

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  2. Paul Beech

    Hi Bruce,

    Naming a baby should be fun, yes! Doubly so with twins of course. But maybe we could go a bit further than simply plonking down topical names straight. And I’m rather keen on two forenames.

    I’ve just been getting dressed for the day. So if I’d fathered twin boys, I might name the first one “Undi Zonfust” (a distorted form of “undies on first”) and the second one “Nowser S. Trext” (a spoonerised version of “trowsers next” with a middle initial to keep people guessing).

    Maybe, learning to speak, they’d like to call me “Laup Derfla” (my forenames spelt back to front), but “Daddy” would do.

    Keep safe and well,

    Paul

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  3. Nitin Lalit

    Snot sound like a name of a troll in a video game. But nothing beats the name of Elon Musk’s new child, which I think, inspired this post! And I know a guy who worships him like he’s a god. He believes that Elon should rule the world too!

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    1. Bruce Post author

      I musk admit I had to google Elon Musk and X Æ A-12 Musk – as I live a fairly sheltered existence! And I still don’t know why he should be famous! I take it he has his own Wikipedia page.

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      1. Nitin Lalit

        He told his ex-wife (he’s had two and quite a few girlfriends) that he’d have fired her if she were his employee. He smoked weed with Joe Rogan. He’s extremely awkward. He tweets regularly. He wants to make a movie in space with Tom Cruise. These things I guess other than his association with Tesla (which I think he founded) and SpaceX (which he did) and PayPal (which he sold). A lot of people worship him. He comes up with ridiculous statements like ‘we’re living in a simulation,’ and they buy it immediately lol. I sent you a mail btw. Did you get it?

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