“One shouldn’t,” said Angel, “simply name ones children with a name you like. They should be named associated with any event or circumstance that surrounds their birth. To call someone ‘Jane’ is meaningless. One could choose the weather of the birth day instead with Rain or Sunshine or Cloud or 90%-Chance-of-Precipitation. One could choose world events and come up with names such as Africa or Iran or Qurghonteppa, depending on the news. One could call a boy (or even a girl) Arachnid if there was an infestation of spiders at the time; even Funnel Web or Chilean Recluse.
The exciting thing was that Angel was expecting twins. She secretly hoped that they would be born on the very day they were expected: the first day of May. That way she would name them May and Day. (Twins should always rhyme where possible).
But they weren’t born on the expected day. Angel named them according to the events in which they were born. One has to be honest. One has to be true to oneself. Mother and I-Feel-like-Shit-Warmed-Up and Snot are doing well.
Good thing they weren’t born during this time. Lockdown and Corona might not be much better names.
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There was in yesterday’s deaths here in the paper – N. loved daughter of N. and Corona. In fact, I wrote a story using it, but the story won’t appear for a couple of months as I have a backlog!
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Wow. I can hardly wait. I kind of, pretty much, envy your backlog.
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My sons will henceforth be known as Episiotomy and Stretch Marks. I think they’ll be pleased with the change.
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I’m amazed it’s taken you so long to get creative!
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I’m partial to Protazoa and Candida as names; I may suggest them for the next great-grandchildren.
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Both suggestions could well become traditional family names.
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I’m sure Snot will be very popular with the high nosed types, but I was really cheering for 90%-chance of precipitation.
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Thanks – that was my favorite too!
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Great minds have a 37% chance of thinking alike!
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37% – I agree with that one hundred percent.
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Lolz.
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Some people have named their offspring Corona and Covid in India. Some others have named theirs X Æ A-12 in USA. To each his own, but children should be given a chance to redeem themselves of execrable tags foisted upon them during infancy.
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One poor girl in New Zealand had the name of Kalula Does the Hula in Hawaii. She told everyone that her name was Kay. The judge ordered that she could change her name (free of charge) to Kay. The parents should’ve been shot.
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I would have gladly become the executioner of the parents, without any remuneration whatsoever.
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Hi Bruce,
Naming a baby should be fun, yes! Doubly so with twins of course. But maybe we could go a bit further than simply plonking down topical names straight. And I’m rather keen on two forenames.
I’ve just been getting dressed for the day. So if I’d fathered twin boys, I might name the first one “Undi Zonfust” (a distorted form of “undies on first”) and the second one “Nowser S. Trext” (a spoonerised version of “trowsers next” with a middle initial to keep people guessing).
Maybe, learning to speak, they’d like to call me “Laup Derfla” (my forenames spelt back to front), but “Daddy” would do.
Keep safe and well,
Paul
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Thanks Paul for the entertainment! I’m about ready for bed over here = so goodness knows what the twins shall be called!
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Snot sound like a name of a troll in a video game. But nothing beats the name of Elon Musk’s new child, which I think, inspired this post! And I know a guy who worships him like he’s a god. He believes that Elon should rule the world too!
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I musk admit I had to google Elon Musk and X Æ A-12 Musk – as I live a fairly sheltered existence! And I still don’t know why he should be famous! I take it he has his own Wikipedia page.
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He told his ex-wife (he’s had two and quite a few girlfriends) that he’d have fired her if she were his employee. He smoked weed with Joe Rogan. He’s extremely awkward. He tweets regularly. He wants to make a movie in space with Tom Cruise. These things I guess other than his association with Tesla (which I think he founded) and SpaceX (which he did) and PayPal (which he sold). A lot of people worship him. He comes up with ridiculous statements like ‘we’re living in a simulation,’ and they buy it immediately lol. I sent you a mail btw. Did you get it?
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Yes – I got the email thanks Nitin, and have been meaning to reply. I will reply today (Friday NZ time!)
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Yes he has his Wikipedia page and electric car and I’m guessing his space ship
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I wonder what the your-name-is-not-an-accident analysts would say about these two 😀
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Ha ha!
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