Caitlin was halfway through peeling the potatoes for dinner when the phone rang. It was Uncle Philip phoning to say that Great Aunt Philomena had died. Caitlin hardly knew her. Once or twice when she was a child her parents had visited Great Aunt Philomena and Caitlin was each time ordered to “behave like a lady”. Even back then Great Aunt Philomena was as proper as one could get, and now she was dead. It was no great shakes. Caitlin went back to peeling the potatoes.
The announcement of Philomena’s death brought back some vivid memories for Caitlin. The spinster aunt would sit in a huge armchair while Caitlin’s parents sat on the sofa and made small talk. Two or three times throughout the visit, Great Aunt Philomena would rise from her chair and grandly announce, “I shall be back shortly. It’s time for a little Coca Cola.” She would depart the room only to return a few minutes later smelling of gin.
Her death was five years ago. Throughout those five years, every time Caitlin peeled potatoes for dinner she thought of Great Aunt Philomena. That phone call had associated Philomena with potato peeling. Forever, it seems. Why can’t I think of something else when I peel potatoes, thought Caitlin? The association remained. There was no escaping it. Great Aunt Philomena and potatoes were inextricably bound. It was an existential annoyance. There was only one thing for it: Caitlin would have to give up peeling potatoes.
Of course, Caitlin peeled the potatoes only to be useful and “ordinary”. She didn’t need to do the peeling. These days one of the scullery maids does it. It helps that Great Aunt Philomena left Caitlin her mansion and all her millions.
Well, it’s probably appropriate to peel a few potatoes now and then to remember Great-aunt Philomena whether you liked her or not. Apparently she liked something about you.
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I would gladly peel a few potatoes to inherit the family fortunes!
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I would be glad to find out there was a family fortune to be had.
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We should all have a Great Aunt Philomena smelling of Gin…where are the potatoes?
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I thought you already had a Great Aunt Philomena. Yours, I believe, is into peeling turnips and the music of the 60s, 70s and 80s!
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Oh that is right Bruce…but instead of a million dollars I got yen instead…so I have to peel my own damn turnips…
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well I’m willing to give you some of the millions once it all comes through. (I’m Caitlin’s lawyer).
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Hook me up Bruce…I’ll take pennies on the dollar and be happy!
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ok… !
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Those millions sure come in handy. I just want to point out how difficult this must have been for Caitlin’s parents. First Aunt Philomena doesn’t share her Coco-Cola with them, then she passes them up and gives her fortune to their daughter. Rough.
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Caitlin’s parents were so high that when Great Aunt Philomena said “Coke” they mistook her meaning. Anyway, Caitlin probably murdered her parents in an earlier story for all I can remember.
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Ahh. This explains why Caitlin snorted when she heard her great aunt had died.
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You’re right on track. Perhaps you know her?
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I’m starting to get some sort of hazy recollection.
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Yeah – I find it hard to focus sitting outside on this narrow window ledge 9 stories up. The view’s magnificent but I can’t quite work out how to get back inside.
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Just focus on enjoying the view for a while and the rest will come to you.
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If only I had a Great Aunt like Philomena, I would peel potatoes. Later on, I would switch to Coca Cola and potato chips, or whatever those stand for. Now, I don’t remember what my aunt reminds me of. As a matter of fact, I don’t even remember the fact that she existed. It certainly explains why of all things I ran out of potato chips recently.
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Once again, Uma, you bring a stunning logic to the discussion. And sometimes I think (and this should in no one reflect on the intelligence of other commentators) you make the most sensible of statements in the guise of otherwise.
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Not really! I like to light up the night sky with crackers, even if none of it makes any sense!
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Crackers are exciting!
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Never mind peeling potatoes, judging by the picture of the house, Aunt Philomena is still rocking away in her rocking chair somewhere, when her niece isn’t using the potato knife to despatch young women in the shower….
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Would you like to be my ghost writer?
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Maybe she needs to peel potatoes to not forget to remember her Aunt. Or the shock of inheriting such a fortune created a sense of guilt in her which is partially assuaged by peeling potatoes. Anyhow, Binky will peel potatoes for you. And he’d do it for free. I’ll claim the inheritance! Lol kidding!
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I wouldn’t trust Binky with a potato peeler.
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Oh he’s harmless. He’ll even blow balloons for you when you’re bored. Or entertain the animals on the farm. He sings opera too – “Ava Maria…ha ha…sniff”
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Again – I wouldn’t trust Binky to blow anything.
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But Bruce. That’s his job!
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And very good at it he is too!
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Oh, my gosh. I suspected her parents were sucking up!!!
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Ha! I suspect the parents were!
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