1777. A pathetic disguise

It was April Fools’ Day. Lorallie was determined to pull off what she thought would be an all-time wonderful prank.

Lorallie’s best friend Natalie, ran a business from home selling buttons. She had literally (almost) millions of buttons that she advertised online. It was hard work, and that’s because it was so heavily patronized. Natalie’s husband, Max, was involved in the business as well. In fact, Lorallie and Max were having an affair, so the April Fool’s trick was as much for the benefit of Max as for Natalie.

Although Natalie didn’t know about the affair, she herself was having an affair with Lorallie’s partner, Mervyn.

There was one problem that kept popping up. The courier would five times a week pick up the parcels of buttons from Natalie’s front door. But about once every two weeks or so the packages waiting to get picked up would get stolen. No one had seen the thief. The packages simply “disappeared”.

On the 1st of April Lorallie dressed all in black to make herself look like a stealthy thief, and she wore a shocking pink balaclava. She ostentatiously “sneaked” down to Natalie’s place to pretend to be the burglar. When caught she would cry out, “It’s me, Natalie! You big April Fool!”

But it didn’t work out that way, because Natalie, who had just heard about Lorallie’s affair with Max, could see through Lorallie’s pathetic disguise. She shot Lorallie dead with a gun.

In the long run Natalie was let off the hook by the court because she claimed she thought Lorallie was not Lorallie but the button-package thief. The button-selling business went into abeyance. Natalie and Mervyn went their separate ways, with Natalie dating Michael, and Mervyn moving in with Candy. Max now dates Cynthia. (Michael, Candy, and Cynthia are new to this story). One of Lorallie’s teenage children, Clinton, was so upset with his mother’s death that he got into bad company and drugs. (Clinton is also new to this story). The consequences of Lorallie’s ridiculous April Fools’ joke had a bagful of repercussions that went on and on, and I haven’t even begun to mention what happened to Fergus, Angela, Owen, Freddie, and Lorraine…

To make things slightly confusing, did I mention that the courier driver was Mervyn?

So think twice before you do something stupid this morning.

… oh, and Tessa.

38 thoughts on “1777. A pathetic disguise

  1. Yvonne

    I started to draw a diagram to try to sort out the characters in this drama. Then, I had to go to the newsagent for more sharpies and paper. I ran into Walt, who knew Angus who was a very good friend of Mervyn and he was able to fill me in on more of the background to the story. You would be gobsmacked if I told you what I learned. But, Lynda swore me to secrecy.

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            1. Bruce Goodman Post author

              Now that’s an excellent idea. I shall keep it for when the opportunity arises. Now since you appear to be there – just harking back to Beckett – do you like his plays? Prefer Ionesco? Put Pinter at the top? …

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              1. dumbestblogger

                Pinter at the top for sure. “A Kind of Alaska” might be my favorite at the moment. I do enjoy Beckett, if for no other reason than it gives me comfort to know that some people are stranger than me. Honestly “The Bald Soprano” might be the only Ionesco I have read. I enjoyed it, but I need to read more.

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                    1. dumbestblogger

                      My apologies. I can’t remember if I named the character in my story Max before or after I read this. If I inadvertently plagiarized you I promise to send you your share of The Gilmore Girls money when it comes.

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                    2. Bruce Goodman Post author

                      I think you definitely made Max up – after stealing the name from my story. I will certainly want my share of the “Gilmore Girls” (Note that Gilmore Girls is a title).

                      Liked by 1 person

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      It was one of those things – one of those moods – and I dislike the accompanying picture. There is nothing in this story to recommend – which is why basically it disintegrated in on itself!

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  2. Nitin Lalit

    The ending reminded me of 90210 or the OC. Relationships, deaths, twists, drugs…But having said that, I think this is a perfect April Fool’s post. I took notes before realising that you were hoodwinking me! Or were you??

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      1. Nitin Lalit

        The author dies and the story assumes command. Or something like that (if I want to sound remotely knowledgeable or whatever). But that apart, I liked the messy ending. You should write a surreal, dadaist story Bruce. Confuse your readers with weird dialogues and narratives within narratives.

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        1. Bruce Goodman Post author

          My favorite all time story is in Ionesco’s “The Bald Soprano/Prima Donna” when they sit around telling stories. The story is utterly meaningless (I don’t have a copy of it) but it’s about a fox and goodness knows how the story goes all over the place but it ends with the fox shouting “No! No! I’m not your bit of fluff!” Which had absolutely nothing to do with the story. It always made me laugh!

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          1. Nitin Lalit

            I’m guessing that’s postmodernism. I read a book recently by an author who writes postmodern fiction (I think). The story had no plot, no proper characters, no humour and went on and on. It gave me a bloody headache. I can understand postmodern narratives which are absurd and use satire, but I can’t digest some of the more recent stuff.

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              1. Nitin Lalit

                I saw a video of Jim Carrey talking nonsense and one of the commenters said, “This man is woke!” Soon all you have to do is spew psycho babble and you’ll be woke lol

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