Neville was destined to become a famous novelist. Thus far he hadn’t had anything published. In fact he hadn’t quite finished his first novel. It needed tweaking. There was a reason for his not having finished.
Neville became so attached to his characters that he refused to kill any of them off. Thus the pages of his masterpiece gathered more and more characters. They overcrowded the pages. If they had existed outside the novel, and lived in the same house, there would be one hell of a queue outside the bathroom.
Honestly, by the time he got down to the fourth generation he should have killed great grandpa off. But no! Great grandpa was arthritic and senile and very much alive.
Eventually he submitted his tome to an editor.
“There are too many characters,” the editor said. “Kill some of them off. It’s easy; just cross a few out. That’s how you do it.”
“I know, I know,” said Neville. He left the editor’s office with a heavy heart. He began the long walk home. Who to kill off? And how?
He was so engrossed and desolate that he failed to notice where he was going and got run over by a truck.
That’s how you do it.
Being a writer is a cold-blooded business, Neville, sorry.
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Killing characters off should be done with panache.
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Panache, is that some new murder weapon?
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Yes – it’s the frilly feathers on top of the helmet on a suit of armor. It tickles to death.
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Oh, a common weapon of choice then. Silly of me not to recognise it!
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Glad to have tickled your fancy.
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The End.
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Hahaha! I killed a character off in the first chapter of my never ending novel.
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I killed two off in the first paragraph of my novel!
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Well done!
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Maybe you’re a character in a novelist’s book…
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As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport – King Lear!
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I’m taking notes.
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Let’s hope you don’t run out of paper.
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Switched from note paper to toilet paper. Tears kinda easy, but I should be good.
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I hope you don’t have to wipe out too many good ideas.
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No. Just the shitty ones.
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This reminded me of the Ghost Writer”s fate, but it was no accident.
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An excellent plot!
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To a movie by the same, yes.
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I killed my ambition to be a famous novelist after reading back the first two paragraphs of my novel.
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Killing ones opening paragraphs – Ah! The best of times The worst of times!
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The moral of the story is grim but prophetic. It’s very relevant too. On second thoughts, Neville could have used the Wuhanvirus to reduce the commotion of characters in his book. Did that truck have a Chinese number plate?
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The Wuhanvirus could be used to kill off characters in a novel that dealt with deceit, lies, and torture.
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