Hello everyone. I’ve called this little gathering for drinks and nibbles of all the workers here at the factory as a way of thanking you all for your sterling work. It’s been a pleasure and an honour co-operating with you over the years. So many of you have gone over and above the call of duty.
Just one little announcement! Today is Maureen’s birthday! So happy birthday, Maureen! You get younger by the year! I might add that Maureen next April will have been with the company for thirty years. Thirty years! Unfortunately we won’t be able to celebrate that together as the factory is closing down. From tomorrow we will no longer be in production and your services will no longer be required.
So enjoy your drinks and nibbles because it’s all you’re going to get.
Weave a Web 
Happy Bi!🎊🎉
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Ha ha! That’s the way some birthdays go!!
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What a nice boss, including Maureen in the closing down ceremony. She must have felt very special.
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How are they expected to shoot the boss if all guns are banned?
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Actual agenda of a company meeting I once attended: “We didn’t meet our metrics for this quarter, so there will be no Christmas bonus, also we have been too generous in giving out raises in the past, so we will have to give smaller raises in the future and be more rigorous about the standards for giving them. But the important thing we wanted to tell all of you is that we got these really awesome t-shirts made and everybody gets one!
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We’re brothers getting f&*$^#ed. I worked for 12 months without getting paid… oh – doesn’t matter… It’s a lot more complicated, and worse, than that! It’s why I became a playwright…
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Playwrights are well known for their incredible wages, great job security and excellent benefits package.
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Ha ha!
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Poor Maureen has been made the mascot of the meltdown. Did some of the coworkers feel like butchering her for the end? You do keeping delivering the twists in novel ways.
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Thanks, Uma. I’m starting to think I’m not normal!
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