When Valerie and Kent’s first baby arrived in this world they had trouble deciding on a name. Valerie wanted a transgender name such as Kim or Les; an accepted and known name but one that belonged to both females and males. Kent also wanted a transgender name but one with a bit of originality such as Oak or Marble or Peninsula. The child could decide once old enough what it wanted to be called. In the end Kent won out and they provisionally named the child Reverberation Mannequin Crenshaw-Maidstone.
The child was given a naming ceremony, but Valerie and Kent had trouble deciding where that should be held. A church, of course, was out, but the grounds of a park next to a lake with ducks and swans and weeping willows sounded good. In the end the park idea verged on Pantheism, so they invited a few friends around to their back yard and held the ceremony next to a tin fence. The child could decide once old enough what it really wanted to believe and from the beginning Valeria and Kent, by choice of venue, didn’t want to precondition the child into receiving and believing perceived hang-ups.
As the child grew and reached school age, Valerie and Kent decided against formal school education; they would home school Reverberation. A school would shove the child into stereotypical confinements. Although the government demanded certain topics to be covered in the curriculum, Valerie and Kent didn’t want to ram bigoted information down Reverberation’s throat. The child should be able to decide once old enough what interested it and what it should and shouldn’t know.
All this was years ago. These days Reverberation is a professional athlete and goes under the more practical name of Organic Fire. Organic is a lot easier to spell than Reverberation; and Organic’s partner, Zen Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff Ng, doesn’t have to look up how to spell Organic’s name every time an application is made for psychiatric hospital visitation.
Haha! Love it!
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Thank you!
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Gender fluid names are the best…. I have one. There was a girl at our school called Matti and I was often called Matty as well. I had a crush on Matti, but Matti didn’t have a crush on Matty.
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Matti (can’t remember how I spelled it) was one of the main characters in my novel. Her “real” name was Matilda. Do people these days call you Matt or are you always Matthew?
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Is that the same novel you have online. I thought it was semi autobiographical?
By and large Latinos can’t pronounce Matthew because of the ‘th’ sound. So most call me Matt o Mateo. Strangers often call me Gringo which drives me f**king nuts. But that’s another story.
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The lady at the supermarket calls me Lovey – which I hate – and I just mis-typed “supermarket” and left the U out – and my computer self-corrected it to sperm market which would be the last thing I’d want. The novel “A Passing Shower” is not autobiographical – but “Bits of a Boyhood” is.
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Lovey, I don’t mind so much unless someone called me that at a sperm market. So ‘A passing shower’ is available online like ‘Bits of Boyhood’? That reminds me I need to revisit those chapters I believe from ‘Bits of Boyhood’.
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Yes – “A passing shower” link is at the top of my blogs opening page. (And I managed to pay the electricity bill!) I’m a bit tired – having just been to market…
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It’s because I get your posts through ‘WordPress reader’ that I haven’t taken more time to peruse your actual site. Thanks for clarifying. I’ll be sure to take a look at ‘A passing shower’. In fact what I will do when I finish Don Quixote (god knows when that will be arghhhh) is print out your two books and read them.
Oh btw, I’m glad you paid that sucker! That must be a relief. Until next time AMIGO!
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Thanks Gringo.
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You’re welcome Lovey
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I was just kidding with the Gringo bit, AMIGO!
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Go Fook yaself and the sheep you rode in on hehe
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It’ll be a pleasure – but the sheep are not being very co-operative.
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I changed my name from Xzta, to Xzte, people seem to find it easier to say and spell, and it suits my personality better.
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It sounds like a cream to treat acne.
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That was the second reason I decided to change it.
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Stick with Yvonne and you’ll go a long way!
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Love this. Isn’t it funny how kids from this sort of background rarely decide to call themselves William? If I had been in Ken’s shoes I should have fought a little harder for peninsula.
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Peninsula, with or without the 2nd N would certainly be attention grabbing.
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Lolz.
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What a story! I was still recovering from the reverberations when his partner Whatzisname struck!! I wish the parents of Organic Reverberations were turned into compost alive and fed to cacti, or allowed to fester with pustules by which time they would have been able to decide for themselves whether they want to enrich a bed of cacti or a clump of weeds.
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Ha! Ha! I can only hope the cacti were Prickly Pears which are edible!
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This is brilliant satire Bruce. I think you’ve covered everything!
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It’s amazing how many parents leave it for the kids to decide and yet still change the babies diapers!
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Lovely twist at the end. I never subscribed to letting the children decide – call me a parent. The funniest name I’ve hear is one given to a child born on the day of the moon landing : Lunar Landing Module McGee.
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Great Scot! I hope the child didn’t end up loony, The silliest name I’ve ever hears was Kalula Does the Hula in Hawaii, The judge allowed the girl to change her name to Kay for free!
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Then there was Crystal last name Chandelier and the two daughters of a Governor of Texas by the name of Hogg: Ima Hogg and Yura Hogg.
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My sister-in-law’s initials are HAG.
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Mine are NAG. Before I married, they were NAP.
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Ha ha!
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