Oswald stood in front of the mirror. “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” You see, Oswald was having trouble choosing who to invite to the Fitter and Turners’ Annual Ball.
Should he ask Lillian? She was plain but pleasant. And capable. My goodness me!
Should he ask Siobhán? Should they fall in love he’d go through life being asked, Why is her name pronounced Shivaughan?
Should he ask Bernadette? The list was countless… Annette, Dulce, Barbara, Agatha…
Hence Oswald’s question: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? He got the fright of his life when the mirror answered: YOU ARE!
He asked again: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
YOU ARE!
Quite frankly, the mirror was no help, although it rather flattered Oswald’s vanity to have his sweetness surpass all others. When he had spoken into the mirror he wasn’t expecting a reply. He was really only talking to himself.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
YOU ARE!
Oswald asked his mother about the mirror.
“Goodness!” she said. “You didn’t know even after all these years? It’s a battery driven mirror that always answers that ridiculous question: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? The battery must be getting flat.”
Sure enough! Oswald found the battery and replaced it.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
YOU ARE a total nutcase.
Not replacing flat batteries can lead to surreal situations when ghouls and evil spirits sneak into short stories that you read each morning.
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Just be patient, my dear friend!
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I heard they tried selling one where it said like five different things and a couple of them were insults, but somehow it didn’t sell as well.
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Well, how would you like it if the mirror called you a… (I’m sorry but I can’t say it)? However, I wouldn’t mind be called a … (I’,m sorry I can’t say it).
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True.
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At least it’s honest.
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There’s little worse than a deceitful mirror.
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A splendid and well-deserved twist 🙂
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Thank you, Andrew. As always, you show yourself to be a man of exceedingly good taste,
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