(Today’s story is the final in a trilogy of absurd yarns.)
A peasant woman was in need of a turkey for Christmas, so she went to the queen and said if you give me your Christmas turkey I’ll teach it to talk, and that way it will entertain the court before it gets its head cut off and put in the oven.
The queen thought it an excellent idea. It would make a delightful change from the annual humdrum things they do every Christmas. But please, the queen added, don’t teach it to speak in that horrid peasant’s accent. Try and give it some class.
A while later the peasant woman informed the queen that the turkey could speak, and with the most delightful middle to upper class accent. The trouble is however, said the peasant woman, the only sentence the turkey knows is “The queen is having a torrid extramarital affair.”
“Off with its head!” screamed the queen. “Off with its head! I don’t want that horrid creature dead or alive anywhere near the palace.”
Enjoy!
And the queen suspected nothing?? Who’s running that country?
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Nancy Pelosi.
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I was expecting the Teacher’s head to roll, in which case it is certainly a twist.
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No twist! And I;m already defrosting the Xmas turkey. Having said that, we’re also having potatoes, green beans, garlic, and onions.
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The teacher of course could have been the real turkey!
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There must be some kind of way outta here
Said the turkey to the queen
There’s too much fornication
I can’t get no relief
– Hendrick, The Tavern Bard.
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Oh for too much fornication. I can’t remember that far back. Merry Christmas, dear Nitin!
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Merry Christmas Bruce! I hope this season and the year to come brings you much joy.
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The same to you Nitin. My calendar says on the cover: This is going to be the best year ever!
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Dylan is that you?
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Not quite Pygmalion then!
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Hope you had a wonderful Christmas down under! You’re always way earlier than we are!
I am overloaded with food, so today is a soup day!
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Seasonal greetings to you too Noelle! We have a fridge full of food that should keep us supplied for a while!
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One-nil to the great unwashed.
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