1695. An unapologetic promotion

Wally was bored silly over the holiday period. His mother was up the wall. She’d asked him again and again to mow the lawn and in the end the only way she could get him to do it was bribery. Bribery usually worked as a last resort. The lawns got mowed and Wally was slightly richer. But he was still sour, sullen, and selfish.

At least he had his computer, but that had long since ceased to provide any sort of novelty.

“Being on the computer is no different from being at school,” said Wally. “I’m bored.”

“I know what you could do,” suggested his mother. “You could read Bruce Goodman’s Bits of a Boyhood about growing up in rural New Zealand. I think you’d like it. It’s available online for free.”

The online version is HERE.
The downloadable pdf version is HERE.

Wally reluctantly went to the site and began to read.

“I couldn’t put it down,” said Wally. “I texted my girlfriend and now she’s reading it. I told my friends and now they’re all reading it. When my father gets home from work I’m going to tell him to read it and get everyone in his office to read it, even while they’re at work. The whole world should read Bruce Goodman’s Bits of a Boyhood. It’s the best thing to happen since Adam was a boy. I have no idea why it has never been published. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he got the Nobel Prize for Literature.”

When Wally finished reading it he wanted more. His appetite was insatiable. But sadly, although there are other momentous works by Bruce Goodman, the autobiography finished when the author had just turned eighteen.

Filled with enthusiasm, Wally went out and mowed the lawn a second time. This time there was joy in his heart and a spring in his step.

The same could happen to you, dear Reader, if only you would let it. I wish each and every one of you a happy day!

The online version is HERE.
The downloadable pdf version is HERE.

P.S. If you find yourself mowing the lawn don’t say you weren’t warned.

18 thoughts on “1695. An unapologetic promotion

  1. Yvonne

    An unpologetic, unsolicited message of support for this delicious memoir. But, mow the lawn first, because you will be unable to do anything until you have read the final word from this undiscovered literary giant! Oprah would have recommended him too, if she hadn’t discontinued her little tv show.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      Thank you, Yvonne. I’m more than willing to come and mow your lawn by way of thanks – that is if you have a lawn and I can get my lawnmower to start. Actually I got a brand new lawnmower for my 70th birthday. I’ve only got to look at it and it starts.

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  2. Yvonne

    What, you no longer have to struggle with the 3 wheeled monster? Belated birthday greetings to you, sunshine.

    I’ve got some crispy brown stuff on the surrounds of my dwelling. I have vague memories of some green stuff, but that was many months ago, when some funny wet stuff tumbled from the sky.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. observationblogger

    Wow Bruce, I saved your boyhood biography to my bookmarks to ingest. I’m looking forward to reading that. The priest that baptized you was the first to photograph Halley’s comet! Not many can say that except the bizillions who he baptized lol Just kidding. I loved that contingency chapter.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      The priest’s name was Joe Cullen. He was renowned for his short sermons: “There are two things ruin a marriage, bitching and boozing.” After he photographed Halleys Comet (as a student) the Royal College of whatever (because the camera had to move to get a clear picture) installed him as a life member provided he submitted his calculations. Apparently he sent them an envelop with scribbles on the back.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

I delight in having my dull life coloured by your intelligent perceptions, your wit, and your vivacity.

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