Hershel was an undertaker, and he thought it strange that of the fifty bodies he’d dealt with that month twenty-seven of them were called John. Usually there were only a couple of deaths per month in his area, although it went up a little in the depths of winter. One month he once got six bodies, two of whom were Michael. But now in one month fifty bodies! And twenty-seven called John? Goodness me!
To make matters even weirder, of the fifty deaths twenty-two of them were female and therefore would probably never be called John. That meant that twenty-seven out of twenty-eight males were called John. The sole non-John was called Hector.
Further pondering produced other startling results. Of the twenty-seven Johns, twenty-six of them had the surname of Smith. Twenty-six John Smiths in one month! The only John who didn’t have the surname of Smith was John Gillespie-Fotheringham. That must surely be some sort of record.
The experts mulled over how such a thing could happen. It was a mystery. And then the reason was pointed out. Sometimes some things in life are so obvious. It was staring everyone in the face. John Gillespie-Fotheringham was a clerical error. There were twenty-seven John Smiths after all. What a relief!
Ha ha. This is a mind bender of a piece. Such a surreal spoof! I love how the experts overlooked the true mystery and sighed with relief over there being twenty-seven John Smiths! 😂 I’m still laughing! Well done Bruce!
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Thanks Nitin. I thought it was possibly something along the lines of what Eugene Ionesco might have written!
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You’ve told me so much about him. I shall read him one day.
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I keep forgetting that!
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As both John and smith are common it’s perhaps not such a coincidence. 27 Gillespie-fotheringhams; now that would be a coincidence!
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I’ve only ever known one John Smith – but I once had a class with 6 Michaels, and 3 of them were Michael Kelly.
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Now that makes sense. I’m glad my name isn’t John Smith.
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Or Gillespie-Fotheringham!
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Ha!
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That is a blatant John-Smithicide! Why, My Lord, it is a genocide of a variant of humanity.
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That’s true. Names don’t greatly matter, My mother would often start with the name of the oldest child and work her way down until she hit my name at number 5. I guess she was addressing a person and not a collection of syllables.
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True. As the Bard said, what’s in a name? Unless of course it used for an ironic swirl towards the end.
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That;s true too!
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Certainly a Jaw(h)n dropping tale!
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One has to cater for all sorts!
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