1640. Bananas

Paddy liked bananas. The trouble was he used to stuff them in his mouth instead of biting a bit off the end. It drove his mother, quite frankly, bananas. She said:

“Why can’t you eat a banana nicely instead of stuffing it in your mouth? Eat it nicely; like a gorilla.”

In fact Paddy had seen gorillas at the zoo eating bananas. They would peel them nicely and bite a mouthful off at the end.

The other kids at school had seen Paddy eat a banana and instantly gave him the nickname of “Monkey”. In fact, when it came to the classroom singing time, the other boys would sing:

With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the monkey a banana…

It made the teacher very annoyed.

There was no changing the way Paddy would eat a banana. Even when he grew up and got married his wife would say:

“Why can’t you eat a banana nicely instead of stuffing it in your mouth? Eat it nicely; like a gorilla.”

And then quite a few years later, when he went to the Old Peoples Retirement Village, there were a couple of old men who had gone to school with Paddy and they would sing:

With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the monkey a banana…

For Paddy it was all water off a duck’s back. He took no notice. Being deaf has some advantages.