1638. A friendly encounter

It’s time again to splash out with a bit of science fiction. Except this time it’s not fiction. It really happened so it’s more like science fact. It might read like fiction but as the saying goes, “Truth is stranger than fiction.” All I can say is that it happened to me and many would regard me as a man of veracity.

Recently an alien spacecraft landed on my back lawn. It was in the traditional flying saucer shape that many who make up stories like to portray the flying machines of aliens. Contrary to assorted popular accounts, this flying saucer did not leave any scorch marks on the grass of my lawn. Scorch marks are a piece of fictionary nonsense apparently.

I immediately went out onto my back porch to watch. (Silly me! I forgot to take my camera and I don’t have a clue how to take a photo with my phone. The only photo I have ever taken with my phone was quite by accident. It was mainly of my feet as I checked for any text messages while standing at a urinal). A door opened and out popped an alien. To be honest, it looked a bit spooky. More like what we conceive as a goblin; long pointy ears and a fairly long nose. It was very thin with long legs and wore green trousers and shirt. There was a neck piece in green and gold fabric sewn in triangles – a little like we might envisage Harlequin as wearing here on planet earth. (I mention this detail, not because I’m particularly interested in fashion, but because there might well be some readers who are. The accompanying picture is not a photograph of the event as already stated but an artist’s impression from the pen of a relatively talentless illustrator).

The alien approached me and my first thought was “How are we going to communicate if it doesn’t speak English?” The alien came prepared. By speaking through what looked like a large piece of cardboard with a plate-sized circular hole cut in the middle we were able to understand what each was saying. Immediately it said

Hlkj dflakj ljkhasdf kjalk jl sfgh likj alkjsa.

And I replied with

Ilkjetlkjb kl l’kjal ’lkjelk lkasdflkjalkj klkl lkkl kkga lkawpoije.

It then returned to the craft and flew off.

I was delighted to have been of help.