1608. Not the Breaking News

Breaking News:

Almost an entire section of New York was in darkness after an electrical explosion put a stop to trains and traffic lights. What a shemozzle! And the mayor of the city wasn’t even in town. No one could cook their dinner. It was useless going out to eat as the restaurants too were without power. Theatre performances ground to a halt. Nancy Tubman, the rising darling of Broadway, was half way through singing “Somewhere over the…” when the blackout hit. For two and a half hours residents were subjected to darkness. One can only imagine the havoc that will ensue once the Russians gain the power to flick a switch on the entire city. Congresswoman, Eliza Muktha Zaiton, from California said, “This power blackout in parts of a suburb of New York was yet another manifestation of global warming and of the racism that has gripped the country. So step up and shut up.” Hector Tronkwell of the Hollywood Actors’ Union said that “This effing halting of effing Nancy effing Tubman, the effing rising effing darling of effing Broadway, half way through her effing song was yet another effing example of where we are effing at.”

Not the Breaking News:

Mrs. Claudia Jones said she had been living in a tent on the street with her three children for four months now. With winter fast approaching Congresswoman, Eliza Muktha Zaiton, from California, said something needs to be done to fight the cold so she is supporting the removal of all tents from city streets.