1458. Squandavia

From an alien handbook:

One of the more bizarre planets in the cosmos is known as Squandavia, although it is believed that some of the early interplanetary adventurers referred to it as Planet Earth.

Top of the food chain are what are known as elephants. They are the biggest land creatures. In the sea it is creatures called whales.

The most interesting, and most bizarre feature of the planet are the millions and millions of relatively unhairy four-limbed creatures that walk around on two legs. They are everywhere. Apparently the elephants and whales have them pretty well trained for they seem to spend all their time working. They make strange noises most of the time. They don’t graze slowly all day on their food as we do, but they seem to stuff food into their mouths at set times three or four times a day.

Some of their other habits are even more bizarre but we leave that to the traveller to be shocked by discovery.

It is not recommended when visiting Squandavia that you make yourself visible. These little relatively unhairy four-limbed animals are riddled with animosity. It is inconceivable to us that the elephants and whales haven’t got rid of at least a few of them.

If we ever take over this planet, and it seems not unlikely, the extermination of these relatively unhairy four-limbed creatures will be a priority.

10 thoughts on “1458. Squandavia

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      I’m not sure – but Jonathan Swift has my favourite human quotation (if I can find it):
      “I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth.”

      Reply

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