Aunt Sylvia was well-off. Everyone knew that but only Aunt Sylvia knew by how much.
She was a spinster and lived alone with a few simple interests to occupy her time. Her main interest was growing herbs. She didn’t have a huge back yard, but every square inch of it was used for growing her precious herbs. Then she would dry them, bottle them up, and give them away as gifts.
Every year her niece, Penny, got the same Christmas present: a collection of a dozen or so delightful dried herbs tastefully presented in diminutive pots. At least, Aunt Sylvia thought things were “delightful”. Niece Penny didn’t think much of them at all.
“Quite frankly,” said Penny into her cell phone, “you’d think she would have better things to do with her money. More dried up stuff this Christmas. I usually throw them away. Basically, we’re waiting for her to die so as to get our hands on the inheritance.”
Several months later, Sylvia died. Penny was beside herself with excitement. And indeed, she had every reason to be excited, for Aunt Sylvia had left Penny her entire fortune. The will said: “Give the lot to my dear niece Penny, now that, at last, I’m dead.” So Penny got the whole seventeen dollars and forty-two cents – after funeral expenses. There was no bank account teeming with loot, for several months earlier Aunt Sylvia had donated it all to the Horticultural Society.
Know the gift part well. Had an aunt who every year would send my siblings and I a smoked salmon. Granted it was not as dry as herbs (which I would have preferred) but still, it got old. Was never interested in her worth yet my mother was bequeathed a nice financial gift. Whatever!
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My mother was all excited when extremely rich widowed great uncle died with no children. He left it all to the Catholic church!!
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Like the Catholic Church needs money!
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Not after great uncle’s contribution!
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Before the last sentence I had the thought she’d had a super expensive funeral just to spite her
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I don’t do bad endings!!
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I am relishing the longer stories that you have begun to gift us with. Even as the tale moved towards the suspected end, I did enjoy the proceedings.
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Thanks. I didn’t realize really until you said that the stories are bit longer than they often are! I hope to begin writing one soon that might be a few hundred pages! We (royal we) shall see!
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The Horticultural Society got her herbs I presume. Who says she donated cash? Did you say that? No you didn’t. The money has been spent on “a few simple interests”. Good for you, auntie 😉
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Yes – I always think that parental “oldies” should spend their self-made moneys on themselves a bit more!
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Agree 🙂
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