1413. Fifth marriage

Joffre’s fifth marriage was no straight forward affair. The thirteen children from his previous four marriages were still living with their respective mothers. He wanted his children there, but who would bring them and look after them at the wedding? The last thing he wanted was his four ex-wives blotting the landscape and making facetious comments about his blushing bride twenty-three years his junior.

Joffre conceived a plan. He would invite all four ex-wives. Three of them so detested him that they would not attend. The fourth, Mabel, would come – she had always been non-confrontational – and she could look after the thirteen children.

And there she was! In the front seat with the thirteen children! She looked wonderful in her peacock-hued dress with cap sleeve bodice and floral organza skirt. And she wore tinted contact lenses to match. So capable! So calm! So ravishingly perfect in every way! Such taste in fashion! And Joffre knew she would have made the outfit herself. He should never have left her. A reunification was surely a possibility.

Let’s hope the rumours were true, and that his bride was having an affair with one of the bridesmaids.

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