1386. Groceries for dinner

“And so, darling,” said Dinah to her husband, Pete, as she was about to leave for town, “what would you like for dinner tonight?”

“Chicken hearts,” said Pete. Pete loved chicken hearts. Dinah hated chicken hearts. She knew he said that on purpose to annoy her.

“And take the dog with you in the car,” said Pete, “he’s getting cabin fever with all this bad weather we’re having.”

Dinah hated having to take the dog in the car when she went shopping. It prevented her from quietly shopping for hours in the big shops. Probably Pete had done it on purpose, to stop her squandering both time and money.

So that was two things Dinah hated – chicken hearts and taking the dog in the car.

Later, driving home, Dinah conceived and implemented a delightful plan.

15 thoughts on “1386. Groceries for dinner

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      Dogs passing away (and cats) are always handled with a great deal of sensitivity – unlike despicable people who deserve every thing they get. Which brings me to my favourite Jonathan Swift sentence when he describes the Yahoos (Humans): “The most despicable race of little odious vermin that nature ever contrived to crawl upon the surface of the earth”. I don’t agree with it, but it’s so well written!

      Liked by 2 people

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  1. Andrew

    I’ve read this one before. She buys the chicken hearts and laces them with poison. In the car the dog gets into the shopping and eats the poisoned chicken. Drops dead on the spot. She panics and drives to the pet shop to buy a look-a-like dog. Then she drives to another store to buy more poisoned chicken hearts, now on special offer. When Pete gets home he realises the dog is different and in a fit of rage throws the poisoned chicken hearts at it. The second dog dies. Pete realises he was close to being murdered but says nothing. He goes into the garage and quietly tampers with the car brakes. He returns and tells his wife to go and buy another dog tomorrow. Get it from the pet shop at the bottom of the steep hill he says. His wife decides to get a taxi instead. Pete comes home from work early and sees the car in the garage. He guesses his wife has managed to survive and have the car fixed. He gets in and sets off down the hill, loses control and crashes into a taxi coming the other way. The only survivor was a large shaggy dog.

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    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      LOL! And I get the shaggy dog… Your story (coming first at present in the ending race – no prize – cf. noelleg44’s comment) is proof surely that a quick gunshot at the beginning of a storyshortens things (and brevity is the soul of wit – I just made that up).

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I delight in having my dull life coloured by your intelligent perceptions, your wit, and your vivacity.

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