Robert stood in the aisle of the supermarket looking for a tin of coconut milk. His recipe for sweet potato pudding called for quarter of a cup. He couldn’t find it anyway. Fortunately there were a couple of supermarket shelf-stackers close by putting things on shelves.
“Excuse me,” said Robert, “could you tell me where I might find the coconut milk?”
“As luck would have it,” said a shop worker, “it’s right in front of you.”
“Oh! So it is!” said Robert. “I must be going blind!”
At that moment, Robert farted. It wasn’t a quiet fart. It was a long fart and very, very loud. The shelf-stackers pretended not to hear. Robert knew he’d reached a certain age because he didn’t give a stuff.
Aha, now we’re getting real life stories!
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Speak for yourself!
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It’s not always about me.
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I certainly won’t be including the story as a footnote to my autobiography.
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Met an attractive, if rustic, man at a campsite in a remote area who invited me to share his campfire and a beer. He farted unselfconsciously, even pushing a bit for maximum volume, which put me instantly at ease; as I inferred that he was not planning to hit on me. I think his name was Robert too.
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Truth is indeed at least as strange as fiction!
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Autobiographical elements always spice up a story. At times they fill the scenes with fragrances and malodours.
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Thank goodness most autobiographies are fiction.
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They happen sometimes – farts, that is. I usually look right at the person next to me. I would NEVER fart!
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I agree!! Staring at the person next is what should be done. I’m with you on never having personally contributed to the planet’s methane overload.
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My dog squeaks when she farts. It’s quite entertaining to watch visitors’ reactions when she does it in front of company.
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My dog doesn’t fart, but he gets the hiccups.
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I can’t wait to get to that age! My dog runs away if someone farts or hiccups (not me of course)!
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I don’t get enough visitors to know what my dog does on hearing such things.
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