My mother is like really nosey about my private life. Last night I went out with Jeff and my mother wasn’t like very happy about it. Jeff’s the one that got Sheree pregnant. And he’s the center midfielder in the school’s football team. Anyway my mother said, “Now listen Carol, if Jeff tries any funny business, clock him.”
Well I tried, but it was all over before I had time to even look at my watch. I don’t know why my mother needs to know this stuff, so I made it up and told her it took about three quarters of an hour.
(I’ve just realized that this story might not make sense to some: Brit and Austral and NZ: to strike, esp on the face or head; to strike sharply or heavily: e.g. clocked him in the face. )
Perfect, just perfect. Did that include the time for a condom?
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I never asked!
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Great fun Bruce, Mother will be sorry she spoke 🙂
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Mothers are frequently sorry – and for fairly good reason!
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Now, that was one ending I didn’t anticipate. You still have the power to surprise us, after more than a thousand of your tales.
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Thank you, Yvonne. I think you are now my oldest reader. By oldest I don’t mean long in the tooth!
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I think I might fit both descriptions, BA.
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😀
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Another great surprise ending!
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Glad to have surprised! Thanks Nanette.
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Excellent play on words!
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Thanks, Chris!
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Thanks for the annotation. Isn’t there something called Murphy’s Law?
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Do they use “clock him” for “hit him” in Indian English?
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I haven’t heard the expression. But Indian English (Hinglish) is charting a pathetic downward trajectory.
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I like really like this story, Bruce.
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Thanks, Sarah. Your comment is most encouraging when readers seem to be disappearing by the dozen!
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Really? Your blog is one of my favorite to read. I’ll have to be more diligent about sharing it.
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