1168. Cheese goes with anything

Portia’s husband had been an extremely successful businessman; so much so that Portia had never had to work. She had spent her married life pursuing hobbies. One of these hobbies was cheese-making.

Portia was invited to speak about cheese-making to the monthly gathering of the Country Women’s Institute.

“The great beauty of cheese,” began Portia, “is that even in a simple sandwich it goes with so many things. You can have it in a sandwich just on its own. Or you can have it with egg, or onion, or jam, or vegemite. Occasionally I like to have it with a smidgen of tomato sauce. You can have it with celery or shrimps or cold meat. There are countless things you can put with cheese.”

What Portia failed to mention was that the last time she made a cheese sandwich for her late husband, he had it with arsenic.

16 thoughts on “1168. Cheese goes with anything

  1. umashankar

    I’d call that a dash of the Land of La La. It has been an old favourite of vintners, chefs and murderous spouses. Prior to your story, methought it went best with coffee. I hope the guys at Subway never get to invite Portia.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Paul Beech

    Ha, I like your dark humour, Bruce!

    I’m reminded of the fiendish real-life poisonings of yesteryear I learnt about on a brilliant crime writing weekend in the summer.

    Like Wallace, of Wallace & Gromit fame, I’m very partial to a nice piece of cheese. Not only Wensleydale (his favourite) but Cheshire too, Lancashire too! As for Double Gloucester…yum!

    My problem is not that I’m likely to be finished off with a cheese butty from Portia or any of her infamous predecessors, but rather by my diabetes. Cheese sends my blood sugar rocketing…not that I can resist the odd sliver!



    Liked by 1 person


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