Hello. Did I ever tell you? A few years ago I had the perfect household: five dogs, eight cats, and two humans. I had two border collies, a corgi, a schnauzer, and a chihuahua. The corgi thought it was a cat. It used to look after the baby kittens. Even lick them. The mother cat didn’t mind because she thought the corgi was a cat too.
When I married for a second time, quite late in life, my husband was off a farm and he had never had a pet dog, and that’s why I got him the two border collies. He adored them. These days it can get quite lonely without all these friends. That’s why I come for a walk in the park. What is your dog’s name?
Hello. Did I ever tell you? A few years ago I had the perfect household: five dogs, eight cats, and two humans. I had two border collies, a corgi, a schnauzer, and a chihuahua. The corgi thought it was a cat. It used to look after the baby kittens. Even lick them. The mother cat didn’t mind because she thought the corgi was a cat too.
When I married for a second time, quite late in life, my husband was off a farm and he had never had a pet dog, and that’s why I got him the two border collies. He adored them. These days it can get quite lonely without all these friends. That’s why I come for a walk in the park. What is your dog’s name?
Hello. Did I ever tell you…
Weave a Web 
So sad….
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She’s the loveliest of ladies. I see (and hear) her every day when I take the dog to the park. (We have an amazing dog park here where you let your dog run free and they tussle and run everywhere together. Always dozens of dogs! Angel would have loved it in her younger years!)
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She has happy memories.
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Just the one!
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You have wonderfully captured the desolation and persona of the prattling old lady. This post is loaded with compassionate humour. Her mind may be in a jumble but there are hints of a certain richness in the days behind her.
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I have heard her say that “speech” so often that I know it off by heart! She has now started to daily bring a muffin to the park to feed the dogs!
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You want to try this with up to 20 people over the course of a 12hr night shift x5 per week. Every single one has their own line I can recite perfectly and that’s why when I get home nobody is allowed to talk to me.
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My thoughts are with you. I write fiction, but glad to have given you the opportunity to let everyone know that it happens in real life,
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Oh it does…Every day. Every hour. Every minute. Right now it’s happening to someone. . “Eeeeh you’re that nice lady I’ve met you before haven’t I?”
“You sure have Mabel… I’ve been coming here to introduce myself about five nights a week for the last four years so I think it’s safe to say we’ve met”
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😀 I have nothing but admiration for you!
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Isn’t it ever so difficult to make sure you don’t repeat yourself on the blog? I’m sometimes even so convinced I’ve said that before that I go on a wild goose chase.
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I wait for some faithful reader to point out that “You’ve told that before” – it’s never happened but it saves the work! It’s especially so with the music – the “danger” of writing the same tune twice!
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🙂 Jackie always says I make work for myself
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Aha! Like pull a weed and you make room for twenty more!!
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Why no, you never told me that. How many dogs did you say you had?
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Dogs? The only dog I have is a shaggy dog story.
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I quite often come across older people in town who carry dog treats with them to feed to any passing dog and take the opportunity for a chat…
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It’s a good way to break the ice!
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A very touching story, Bruce. I remember a certain lady from my days as a rookie housing officer in the mid-70s. A sweet old lady she was, but very lonely and becoming a tad confused. She had a problem at her bungalow; would I please call round and take a look?
I gave her a knock that very afternoon and she sat me down on the sofa with tea and biscuits. She was obviously house-proud; décor immaculate, framed photographs and potted plants here and there.
As I nibbled and sipped, she explained that she was being driven to distraction by people passing on their narrowboats, with their accordion music and whatnot.
I was puzzled because the nearest canal was miles away. Oh yes, she insisted, day and night, so thoughtless of them, disturbing her like that. Couldn’t I do something about it?
I was on my second cup, my third jammy-dodger, when she suddenly sat forward. “There they are! There they are!” She was pointing at her shag-pile carpet, tracing an invisible line down the centre of the room. “See, they’re waving! Waving! Now please, Mr Beech, what are you going to do about it?”
***
Glad to have found your blog, Bruce. Will drop in again.
My very best from North Wales,
Paul
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A wonderful account, thanks Paul. (Actually better than mine – more poignant in fact…) Lovely to have you come and read. I been a fairly silent follower of yours for a little time!
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