Award 17: The Best Award-Free Blog

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It’s quite some time since I received an award for my blog, so I was delighted to see I had awarded myself the Self-Gifted Accolade for the Best Award-Free Blog. To make things doubly pleasurable, my blog is not actually an award-free blog. I accept awards with a passion. Strictly speaking this blog is not able to receive the Self-Gifted Accolade for the Best Award-Free Blog. But I accept it humbly nonetheless, and without a murmur, in a matter similar to an American citizen receiving an honorary knighthood from Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II of England. Congratulations to me!

There are a number of requirements that must be done in order to receive this award:

a). Wish everyone a nice day.

b). Answer a series of questions (I have omitted a good number of the questions because of their overly intimate nature).

c). Give a link to your novel if you have one and if it’s online. (If you haven’t written one then conceivably it will not be online.)

Requirement a):

Have a nice day! Everyone!

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Requirement b):

Question 1: Who invented the steam engine that operates on the principle of a pressure difference created by a vacuum on one side of the piston to push the steam piston down with the cylinder remaining hot at all times with valves permitting the steam to flow into a separate condenser and then condensate and get pumped along with any gases using the air pump?

Answer 1 (to be said aloud): What? (Get it?)

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Question 272: If you had all the money in the world, what coloured car would you drive around in?

Answer 272 (this may be said silently to save embarrassment): You couldn’t buy a car and have all the money in the world, silly. You wouldn’t have all the money in the world because the used car salesman would have some as well.

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Question 3082 (this is the final question thank goodness): Where are you going to hang this award?

Answer 3082: Hang on a minute.

Requirement c):

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My novel is called A Passing Shower. It is free to read. Two or three people have read it and said they liked it. (No doubt there are others who have read it and didn’t like it but they’re not saying). Ten years ago I sent it to a prestigious New York publisher who phoned me three times about it and said he had kept it on his desk for 8 weeks and constantly reread it, unsure what to do because he thought it “extraordinary” and that it should be published. In the end it was not published, but he said I wouldn’t have any trouble finding a willing publisher. I was so excited that I never sent it to anyone else.  I did try here in New Zealand to find a publisher to send it to, but they all asked the same question: who is your agent? When I tried to get an agent they all asked the same question: who is your publisher? One New Zealand agent did answer in an enthusiastic manner: “I suspect your novel would annoy the shit out of me”. Bewildered, I posted the novel online. It might be worth digging into to see if it “annoys the shit” out of you!

It’s rather frustrating because had the novel been published I would have written another! And another! And I would probably have the Nobel Prize for Literature by now, instead of this crumby Self-Gifted Accolade for the Best Award-Free Blog! A pox on this award which I accept from myself with a great deal of reluctance. The novel can be found HERE!

35 thoughts on “Award 17: The Best Award-Free Blog

            1. Bruce Goodman Post author

              I’d like you to like it, but there’s no telling what others like – I once taught a kid who thought Shakespeare sucked! (Come to think of it, I think that was me as a teenager…) Happy New Year, Yvonne! And many more!

              Liked by 1 person

              Reply
  1. chrisnelson61

    Congratulations on such a prestigious award, Bruce – you must be delighted with yourself for creating such an honour. And to have your novel (albeit under a different name – copywright, perhaps) made into a musical must be truly thrilling! You must now be NZ royalty. I feel humbled to even be allowed to be a part of your world. I wish you well and continued accolades in the New Year. I am your humble servant. Chris.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  2. umashankar

    Now, Sir, you are in the business of naming and shaming! Trust me, I would have downloaded The Passing Shower on my Kindle but I suspect the damn thing is not waterproof. But that doesn’t mean I will not read it…

    As for that award, The Eagle has Landed!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  3. Andrea Stephenson

    Wow, I’m so envious of this award that I’m tempted to start accepting them, and given that one of my ancestors (probably) was big in steam, I’m sure I must be eligible…as you know I’m one of the people who read and loved your novel!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      Yes! I know you were one of my special novel readers – and you wept during the final chapters, which was delightful. Your steam ancestor has possibly passed down enough hot air for you to accept the occasional award!

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  4. raphaellae8

    Hello Bruce.thankyou for the smile. congratulations on your novel.Congratulations on the award.Awards can be deceitful and frightening unless they have a pretty design like this one.This award goes to show that you have mastered your world.it is a good philosophy.why wait aroundfor praises.we live in a busy modern world and we just dont have enough time on our hands to wait for praises so we have to award ourselves. actually, I was saying all this to be funny but as I type along here some serious advice seems to be popping up.I feel like I have been tricked. well maybe next time I will have an opportunity to be funny.I didnt realize that comment boxes could be rigged in this manner.
    crederae
    thankyou and have a beautiful day.if the sun is shining give it an award.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

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