Today was the day Mrs Brussels Sprout had looked forward to all her life. It was Harvest Day!
For months – and all through the cold winter – she had worked hard to produce twenty or thirty babies. Under each leaf nodule a baby had sprouted. She had quite lost count.
“Today, children,” said Mrs Brussels Sprout to her brood, “should be the proudest day of your life. The very reason for our being planted, the very reason for our existence, is about to be fulfilled. It is the climax of our dreams; the apex of our desires. When the gardener comes along and cuts us down, we will be ready to be steamed and sauced. Rejoice, O little ones! Rejoice!”
“Oh happy day!” sang the little Brussels Sprouts. “Oh happy day!”
“Here comes the gardener now,” called out Mrs Brussels Sprout. “He’s going to cut off my head. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HELP! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! RUN CHILDREN! RUN!”
Listen to the story being read HERE!
Weave a Web 
Excellent. Anthropomorphism at its best!
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Thanks – although it can’t match your latest posting which I recommend to all!
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Thank you – much less amusing, but I thought the wonderful Iokasti deserved an airing
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I agree. A post definitely worth pondering.
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Thank you for giving the link to that post, Bruce.
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I can just imagine the screaming and crying and wailing arising from a myriad kitchen gardens as the gardener approaches, knife in hand …….. Pass me the meat!
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LOL! Meat is a lot less blood thirsty!
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Mrs. BS obviously has mixed feelings about the situation, an ambivalence psychology calls “cognitive dissonance”. I am not usually sympathetic to brussels sprouts, so little did I know, when I arose this morning, I would be moved to consider their mental problems.
Nice personification, Bruce, and I imagine that—just as in the Fables de La Fontaine—there’s a moral up your sleeve. I just haven’t yet figured out what it is.
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No moral today – not even a-moral – in fact, I’m moral – I mean immoral. Mrs BS (which is a vegetable I prefer to both broccoli and cabbage) was perhaps suffering from synaesthesia (which is a condition explored in the comments to your wonderful poetic Fib of today!)
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Poor little brussels sprouts!
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Perhaps you’ll never be able to eat them again without feeling sad! 😦
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What an ending! Hahaha
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😀 Thank you!
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Resistance is futile, folks.
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Next time, Yvonne, trying killing your cabbage before you chop it up!
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I find it interesting that your posts and those of Derrick generally appear one after the other on my reader. Do you fellows have an agreed schedule for publishing? What is Derrick going to do after 7 July?
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Derrick follows any and everything! I post at 7am NZ time – whether summer time or not! Derrick possibly posts at 7 in the evening his time – which are roughly the same!
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Someone lied to Mama, hadn’t they? 😦
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Perhaps Mama was just trying to remain calm. What she needed was a stiff brandy!
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May-be.
😀 😀
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Oh my. I bet they were very tasty. Those are fine Brussels sprouts in the picture. I don’t grow them, and perhaps it’s because they are emotionally unstable.
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I must admit that in North Carolina my Brussels Sprouts were magnificent! The garden was fairly near the road and people even stopped their cars and took photos!! I haven’t had any luck growing them since.
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Yeah, they don’t grow well here.
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An accurate assessment of my posting time, Bruce. I guess, after 7th July I’ll have to follow someone else. I guess Mrs BS had been blind to reality, thinking only of the kudos of a good crop
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I always thought I was following you! Being the good assistant gardener that you are, and learning from Mrs BS’s experience, I hope you hear the cry for help each time the Head Gardener pulls a weed.
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How you can make a horror story out of a Brussel Sprout is beyond me -and I LIKE them!
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I’m rather fond of them as well. I fry them with garlic!!
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We also fry them with bacon. Our kids liked them when they were little – we introduced them to all sorts of veggies, some of which they have discarded as they became adults, but we did our job. My son likes them with sour cream!
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As kids we were also “introduced” to different vegetables – I’m the only sibling today who likes broad beans (fava beans – Windsor beans)…
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The audio is even more dramatic than the story itself. I am absolutely shaken.
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Shaking like a leaf… a cabbage leaf!
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🙂
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