There’s no doubt that Mrs McQuilkin was a horrible neighbour. And shared a common driveway. She shared the driveway with Mr and Mrs Kavanagh. Mr and Mrs Kavanagh had six children and they visited regularly.
“Given that Mr and Mrs Kavanagh didn’t bring their children up properly,” said Mrs McQuilkin, “I’m painting bright yellow NO PARKING signs along the driveway. I’m not having her children visit and park on the driveway. They haven’t done it yet, but I wouldn’t put it passed them.”
That had one effect: the six children of Mr and Mrs Kavanagh started to park on the driveway when they visited. Not only that, but they tooted the car horns furiously to let their parents know they’d arrived.
“That proves it,” said Mrs McQuilkin. “Mr McQuilkin and myself brought up our kids properly. The Kavanagh’s next door are the most unruly and incompetent parents I have ever known.”
Eventually Mr Kavanagh died. Then Mr McQuilkin died. Mrs Kavanagh knocked on Mrs McQuilkin’s door to offer her sympathy.
“You know the difference between you and me?” said Mrs McQuilkin. “I loved my husband.”