964. Ratatouille


It was while weeding around his eggplants that Garnet received a vision from the Lord.

“Pick some eggplants and other stuff and make some ratatouille. While you are going through the process you will chop off a finger.”

The message was announced in a great deep voice and accompanied by swirling light.

Ever obedient to omnipotent requests Garnet picked some eggplants and other stuff and took them into the kitchen. He began to chop things up. He continued to chop things up. He finished chopping things up and began to cook the ratatouille. He had been extra careful with the very, very, VERY sharp knife.

“What a load of rubbish,” thought Garnet, as he plunged his hands into the sink’s hot soapy water to do the dishes.

33 thoughts on “964. Ratatouille

        1. Yvonne

          And then, when we think we’ve got it figured out and have braced ourselves for some dire twist, he goes all sweet and innocent on us.

  1. Cynthia Jobin

    Now I hope Garnet (!) isn’t feeling too faint to fish the fragile finger fragment out of the florid foam…..they can graft those bloody things back on, nowadays.

        1. Bruce Goodman Post author

          I noticed that January has garnet and nothing else, where as December has bloodstone, ruby turquoise, lapis lazuli, zircon, tanzanite and topaz. It’s enough to make Władziu Valentino Liberace blush!

          1. Cynthia Jobin

            😀 I do miss Liberace. I doubt anything could make him blush, however sweet and gentle his outward manner. Did you know the guest toilet in his Palm Springs home ws an actual “throne” all gilt and covered in velvet….

  2. umashankar

    I didn’t realise a sink can a have a high power fan installed at the mouth of the base where Garnet was going to poke the promised finger in.


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