944. Harvesting leeks


Stanley had a seasonal job harvesting leeks. There were seven others in the field of leeks. They were unsupervised, so Stanley was able to stuff several hundred leeks every day into the back of his car. His wife, Marjorie, sold them at a roadside stall: ORGANIC LEEKS HOME GROWN. They had leeks for dinner every evening as well.

After several weeks the boss turned up and called a meeting. Leeks were going missing. He didn’t mind the workers taking home a couple of leeks now and then, but hundreds seem to be missing. All workers denied any knowledge.

“How do you cook a leek anyway?” asked Stanley.

Proactive feigned ignorance is often the best cover-up.

33 thoughts on “944. Harvesting leeks

      1. southamptonoldlady

        You should let readers know the background to that story: In the late 1800s, London music hall star Marie Lloyd was summoned to perform some of her songs in front of a licensing council committee. She was ordered to change the title of “She Sits Among the Cabbages and Peas” as it could be misconstrued. After some protest she retitled it “I Sits Amongst the Cabbages and Leeks”.

        1. Bruce Goodman Post author

          There’s a “famous” newspaper misprint (I think only one or two copies exist as it was quickly taken down) that read “Queen Victoria was the first to piss over the bridge”.

  1. arlingwoman

    I planted some leeks in my garden. It will be the second time for leeks. The first time they did really well. They’re really good sautéed with arugula and some white wine and thrown in with some pasta and good cheese. Yum. I imagine the leek thief’s wife cooked something like it at least once.


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