938. Cat heaven


There had been so many complaints; centuries of complaints, going all the way back to the Ancient Egyptians. Person after person, coming through the Pearly Gates into Heaven had complained. Why can’t I bring in my pet cat?

Pharaoh Tutankhamun led the charge. He had a couple of mummified sacred cats he’d brought along with him. He’d moaned nearly every day since around 1327ish BC. He was only 17 years old, so he didn’t know any better, silly man.

Saint Peter was sick of it. He relented. Henceforth, cats and only cats (no dogs yet you understand?) would be allowed in. Nigel brought in 23 cats almost immediately; Nora 27; Davinia 85; Indira just the 1; Andrew 8; Beveridge 11; Debbie…

The place was overrun with cats.

Freddie wasn’t alone in hating the whole jolly cat thing. He was all for upping and leaving until someone pointed out that Hell allowed its residents to bring in their pet rats.

45 thoughts on “938. Cat heaven

  1. Cynthia Jobin

    As Albert Enstein said: “Alles ist relativ.”

    (Fond of animals, Einstein kept a tomcat named Tiger who tended to get depressed whenever it rained. One acquaintance recalled him saying to the melancholy cat: “I know what’s wrong, dear fellow, but I don’t know how to turn it off.” Einstein was also quoted as saying, “A man has to work so hard so that something of his personality stays alive. A tomcat has it so easy, he has only to spray and his presence is there for years on rainy days.”)

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      We need a few historical figures with influence. Who had a dog? Speaking of which – I wonder what White House Dog breed Hillary or Donald will get?!

      1. Cynthia Jobin

        The Clintons have three dogs: a senior chocolate Lab named Seamus, a toy poodle named Tally, and another small dog (?) named Maisie.(Their cat, Socks, who once lived in the White House is long gone.)

        Donald Trump’s beloved yellow Lab is named Spinee.

        ( The former presidential candidate, Ben Carson, has a German Shepherd named Echo and a salamander named Newt.)

          1. Cynthia Jobin

            I haven’t totally closed my mind against Trump, yet. Much will depend upon whom he chooses for advisors and accomplices. At the moment, I remain in the anyone-but-Hillary camp. We’ll see….it’s a circus and there have been many surprises. The year after my Dad sold the funeral home, he decided to run for the State House of Representatives and we were all living in political campaign mode. It’s strange to see someone on TV saying bad things about your father in a political opponent’s ad….Dad won that election but the whole thing left me with no illusions about politics and government.


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