919. Letters to the editor

919sleep

To the Editor of the “Farmers’ Monthly”

Dear Sir,

Do goats ever sleep? Every time I see Billy the Goat, he’s out eating. Only today, for example, I saw him at 3 o’clock this morning happily eating.

When does he sleep? Or don’t goats need to sleep?

Yours sincerely,
Farmer Jack

919line

To the Editor of the “Farmers’ Monthly”

Dear Sir,

Do humans ever sleep? Every time I see Farmer Jack, he’s out looking. Only today, for example, I saw him at 3 o’clock this morning checking to see if I was eating.

When does he sleep? Or don’t humans need to sleep?

Yours sincerely,
Billy the Goat

24 thoughts on “919. Letters to the editor

  1. Cynthia Jobin

    The whole idea of a literate goat writing a letter to the editor, tickles my fancy and reminds me of something one of my favorite poets, William Stafford wrote:
    “When a goat likes a book, the whole book is gone, and the meaning has to go find an author again.”

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      A wonderful goat-quote! Later on (20 July) I have a piece of music with a picture of the goat eating a newspaper and called “Digesting the News”! Goats are very loveable and very intelligent. This one will work out how to unlatch quite a complicated gate!

      Liked by 3 people

      Reply
  2. thecontentedcrafter

    I wonder about Farmer Jack – what is he up to wandering around at 3 am? Despite your nocturnal farmer though, this is an excellent story – the kind of thing I have often wondered about in odd moments – what if the animals could air their thoughts about us! There must be a whole series here Bruce – what would Delia write to the editor, or Pussy Cat? 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      Farmer Jack needs to have his prostate checked out perhaps! Yes – I had a whole string of emails with photos (plus replies) that Delia used to write to this old lady (now passed on) and the lady (Mary-Lynn) back to her. They both used to write to each other like there was a great covert love affair that everyone was talking about behind their backs. I thought they were very funny. I wish I’d kept them. Delia always finished with “Let’s hope they’re not talking about us”!

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  3. exiledprospero

    Dear Sir,

    Do hedgehogs ever sleep? Do they live in hedges? Are they some type of hog? Do they have tails? When fitted for a spacesuit, do they need extra room at the waist?

    Sincerely,
    Puzzled

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      Dear Puzzled,
      I hope you’re not being a prick(le).
      And I might add in passing that “Hedgehog!” used as an exclamation in Richard III is my favourite Shakespearean quotation.
      Sincerely,
      Sir

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  4. Thomas Davis

    If I was a goat,
    I’d think that farmers were
    A funny kind of mote
    That sets my bloody ire astir.

    A Goat’s Complaint

    All day they look at munching,
    Think they know of whence
    My appetite is leading
    When all it is, is sense.

    I’ve got so that I wake
    At 3 o’clock at night
    so that I shake the snake
    who is a bloody blight.

    But still he watches me,
    No matter when I sleep.
    He ought to take his pee
    and watch the bloody sheep —

    Not me!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. derrickjknight

    Sometimes I’ve wondered whether our New Forest ponies ever do anything other than sleep or chomp, and occasionally copulate. They have a ‘stay’ mechanism in their legs which allows them to sleep standing up

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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