Poem 20A: Twilight – a cinquain

20atwilight

(By way of explanation: I have decided to post on the first of each month a poem in a specific form. Throughout that month, if further poems are created and posted, they will all use that form. The poetic form chosen for April 2016 is the Cinquain).

see
colours shatter
dazzling bursts of light
rainbows splashed across skies
war

20 thoughts on “Poem 20A: Twilight – a cinquain

  1. Cynthia Jobin

    This little poem brings big thoughts. The shattered colours could be national flags, among other things, and a splashed rainbow is a messy thing compared to the perfectly arched divine contract—God made with Noah’s people after the flood—that we usually associate with that wonder in the sky. War, indeed.

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      1. Cynthia Jobin

        I notice that your American Cinquain follows Adelaide’s initial scheme of 1,2,3,4,1 stresses. She did this to make the haiku-like form more appropriate to English…accentual instead of merely syllabic. But later she added a scheme to make it both accentual and syllabic, so that the syllable counts for the lines are 2,4,6,8,2 along with the original accentual pattern.
        accents: 1 syllables: 2 (line 1)
        2 4 (line 2)
        3 6 (line 3)
        4 8 (line 4)
        1 2 (line 5)

        I like this later scheme of hers, because, if the meter is iambic, the accents and syllables seem to dovetail nicely; I’ve also found that it’s “roomier” and allows a more sentence-like construction, rather than just phrases. I agree that her own cinquains are hard to match. I like the form, though, and go through phases when I write one every morning, just as a warm-up.
        An editor once raved and ranted and insulted me for center-justifying a poem on the page; I won’t go into it, but I’ve never done it since. 🙂

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        1. Bruce Goodman Post author

          I believe I might “progress” into the accentual/syllabic as the month progresses! And I shall continue to center the poems in the hope an editor (no matter how insignificant) might rave, rant, and insult. At least I could say I have been noticed by an editor!

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