901. An inordinate number of passings

901passing

Janice Hazel Rainey, the Member of Parliament for Chuffachoochoo, West Dunderland, said she was concerned about the high percentage of deaths that occurred in rest homes and retirement villages. The number of deaths per head of population was out of proportion to the deaths that occurred in other sectors of society. It was even higher than those killed in traffic accidents.

Although 98% of old people claimed that death was relatively imminent, the margin of error was 3.7%, so it was likely that an even greater percentage of elderly people were destined for death.

Janice Hazel Rainey proposed a solution; a good number of the deaths occurred while the victims were sleeping, so all beds, bedroom fixtures, and even bedrooms themselves, were removed from retirement villages and rest homes. Similarly, a number of deaths occurred in bathrooms, so lavatory bowls, basins, baths, and showers were removed.

Mrs. Vera Jolliffe, widow, aged 94, said she was delighted with the improvements and felt so much more confident in being able to reach 100.

34 thoughts on “901. An inordinate number of passings

  1. Cynthia Jobin

    It’s quite amazing how many witty clichΓ©s we take for granted come from Swift….as many as from Shakespeare, probably.
    One great source of them is his work: Polite Conversations….a treasure trove of wit.
    A couple that I like: “She wears her clothes as if they had been thrown on her with a pitchfork.”
    and “He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.”

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  2. thecontentedcrafter

    Brilliant!! This must be copied out and sent to every MP asap so they can race to be the one to move this proposal into action. Why none of them have mooted it in the recent past is a mystery to me, it is so obviously the next step forward!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. Yvonne

    It’s all about cause and effect, isn’t it? The MP can now turn her attention to deaths in private homes, on the roads and in playgrounds. Life will become so much simpler when the results are released.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. Susanne

    Some 20 years ago in Ontario, there was a Conservative government whose campaign slogan was “The common sense revolution”. A little known fact is that the Premier, the Rt. Hon. Mike Harris, visited Chuffachoochoo, NZ (at taxpayers expense, of course) to learn from the Hon. Janice Hazel Rainey.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
      1. Keith Channing

        I knew a statistician once. Made accountants look interesting. A Powerpoint presentation by a statistician is the stuff dreams are made of. If you don’t nod off while it’s going on, at least you’ll be able to daydream!

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

Gentle thoughts and expressions of astoundedness are both gratefully accepted.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s