869. How’s your day been?

869day

Adrian was tired of being asked inane questions by shop assistants. He’d pop into the supermarket to get a tin of cat food and be asked how his day has been.

“How’s your day been?” was the inevitable question. “How’s your day been?”

The shop assistant was barely out of diapers. She didn’t give a brass tack about how his day had been. She was trained by trainers in these massive food chains to take a personal interest in the customers, and this was achieved by asking how their day had been.

“It’s good, thanks,” Adrian always replied with a smile. “You have a good day yourself.”

The response to that was always, “Have you any coupons?” Coupons cut from fliers could be scanned for an automatic discount. There could be a good 18 cents knocked off the price of a can of asparagus.

“How’s your day been?”

“It’s good, thanks. You have a good day yourself.”

“Have you any coupons?”

Indeed! Adrian was tired of being asked inane questions by shop assistants. He decided to change his response:

“How’s your day been?”

“Look, my wife’s away and I spent all morning surfing the net and looking at porn and now I’m totally exhausted.”

“Have you any coupons?”

66 thoughts on “869. How’s your day been?

      1. Cynthia Jobin

        The rest of my day will not be very restful since I am keeping vigil over my little old cat Beau as he slips into his final rest.
        And I don’t have a single coupon to redeem.

        Reply
  1. MPHIX

    Perhaps the human element is no longer required in supermarkets? I think the self-service check-outs are a great idea.
    Another wonderful little piece, Bruce! 🙂

    Reply
      1. MPHIX

        Lol!! I would get that every time I bought medication: “This item requires approval”. So I’d wait patiently, not that they ever checked, but somehow the attendant always assumed that it was for a bottle of wine due to my gender and age! Cheeky oiks!

        Like your character however, I would always answer them in full detail if they asked how my day had been…

        Reply
          1. Yvonne

            Well, the young lass said “Gooday, mate. Howzit goin?” So, I had to say “She’s good, mate.”

            I had no chance to tell her about my failed attempt to catch the mouse my darn cat brought in, and promptly let run away. It’s hiding in the lining of my recliner chair, which any of you can have for a very good price, including delivery.

            Reply
                  1. Yvonne

                    So, that went with “eureka”, but is less well known, obviously.

                    I’ve got the traps set for the mouse. Then, I have to worry about what to do with the little critter.

                    So, how’s your day been??

                    Reply
                    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

                      My day’s been fine, thanks. But the poor quality of porn these days! What’s the government doing about it? Come to think of it, what’s the mouse doing about it?

                    2. Yvonne

                      You big goof! The gubbermint is giving us the NBN in Oz, to access poor quality porn more quickly.

                      Flippin’ mouse, it’s given me something to obsess about, anyhow.

  2. thecontentedcrafter

    An excellent response. I once witnessed an old man in front of me respond in full to that phatic question and watched gleefully as the checkout boy’s smile faded and eyes glazed over and he nodded in all the wrong places as the quavery old voice enumerated the adventures of his day. I wondered if the old fella was doing it deliberately as he stoicly went on and on and then, as he pushed his trolley away, I received a little smile and a nod from him as the distinctly shell shocked assistant guardedly enquired how my day was going………..

    Reply
              1. Cynthia Jobin

                My grandparents had a cabin on a lake, where everyone on the lake was a party line. Our number was 204ring13 (One long and three short). Once, when my grandmother was eavesdropping on two ladies swapping a recipe, she forgot she wasn’t part of the conversation and blurted out: “How many teaspoons of baking powder was that?”

                Reply
    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      I never thought of the quot. but it’s very ad rem!
      “But when you know that you’ve got a real friend somewhere
      Suddenly all the others are so much easier to bear.”

      Reply
  3. umashankar

    Adrian was out Hit-Wicket and there isn’t any thing known to be more disgraceful than that on the planet! Those idiots are worse than mannequins. A lovely piece on customer service.

    PS: I had been contemplating to buy a Mac Airbook for a while but thanks to those super-trained assistants, I exited the showroom in somersaults and bought a PC laptop. No, they didn’t ask me how may day had been, or if they did, I didn’t care about that. What they kept insisting in knowing what was it I was planning to use the Macbook for? Oh, I was planning to sleep with it but they were so skinny, I told them!

    Reply
  4. Rustic Recluse

    Yeah, so that’s why I totally hate it when they ask “how’s your day” or “how’s the weekend been” – I’m not sure they give a hoot about anything you’re saying. Or, or, if they bother to listen, they freak out about the details and run away. Bah.

    Reply

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