854. How to properly

854write

Hi! This posting goes one step further. It will tell you how to properly write a blog about how to properly write a blog about how to properly write a blog. About a quarter of the blogs tell you how to properly write a blog about how to properly write a blog, and the other half tells you how to properly write a blog.

1. Dictate the style. Do you think style pops up out of the ether? That it happens all by itself? Of course it doesn’t. Style, let’s call it “fashion” for that’s what it is, is created by creative people. They don’t merely KNOW what people like; they create what people like. This year you will like this; next year you will like that. Every publisher goes along with that, otherwise they wouldn’t sell a thing. Shopping lists and stuff like that seem to be IN.

2. Dictate the subject matter. Be decisive. Grey was very much last year’s colour; or was that the year before? These days it’s not black and white; it’s black OR white. I’m not going to tell you what’s IN and what’s not. YOU determine that. YOU make the rules.

3. Don’t ever, EVER, use an adverb, not even inadvertently. Adverbs are out. They are quite unnecessary, and publishers hate them, and they will toss your work aside as quickly as they can scribble a rejection slip. Come to think of it, try to avoid the use of nouns. A noun is too definite. Who gave you the right to decide what other people think? If you must use a noun try to be as vaguely ambiguous as possible.

4. Don’t use the passive voice. Yes, I know Shakespeare had used it, but you want to write something that will last and can be understood. Who these days understands a word Shakespeare was saying? And the passive voice probably accounts for huge hunks of it. Anyway, the passive voice has been banished.

For more handy hints, one free editing of a small sample of your work, and a weekly course, you can join my writing circle for a mere $40 a week and learn how to properly write a blog about how to properly write a blog about how to properly write a blog properly.

46 thoughts on “854. How to properly

  1. Keith Channing

    That’s no good to me! I need a lot more certainty. If I pay an extra 25%, can I learn about fonts, colours, templates and all the other things that get in the way of open up my creativity. And what about POV? It’s all too hard. I need to know what to think. HELP!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
      1. Sarah Angleton

        Well, what you really need to do is take a couple of weeks to write a 20,000 word guide and sell a billion copies on Amazon (I’ll buy one, provided I can get it for 99 cents) and then retire to your yacht with all of your new found financial freedom. I’m selling a course for a mere $750 that will tell you how to do just that. But act fast. The price won’t stay this low for long. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
      1. Yvonne

        Could you please give us your bank account details, including any passwords and secret questions (and answers) so we can send you the money, so we can learn stuff?

        Like

        Reply
            1. Bruce Goodman Post author

              You will find, Yvonne, that there’s approximately $2.98 in my account. Because I was illegally in Canada for a couple of months, the Canadian Government are now trying – in league with the New Zealand Government – to cancel my NZ pension. Oh well… you can have the $2.98… All pretty depressing really.

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              Reply
  2. Cynthia Jobin

    Dear Author,
    I am thrilled that you brought these things to our attention. I especially like the caution against nouns. Have you noticed how the wonderful, enriching activity of reading a book has been cheapened lately by turning it into a noun? “That was a very good read,” blog reviewers are all saying these days. Very distressing! I read books, myself; I don’t read reads. Can you imagine Emily Dickinson’s poem saying “There is no frigate like a read?’ Frigate, indeed.

    Anyway, I wish you well with this entire venture as a blog-writing coach. I hope you find enough suckersseekers to make it profitable to all.

    Sincere,
    A Devoted Reader

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  3. thecontentedcrafter

    Dear Mr Goodman, It has been made fairly clear to myself as a blogging wanneabe that I am possibly publishing posts written in quite the incorrect manner and that there is vast room for improvement in the way in which I approach my various subject matters. You sound like just the person to solve all my most inadequate issues and steer me infallibly in the direction of correct blogging techniques. I had no idea that was what was amiss with my posts so I for one am most grateful for this intercedence from your most generous self. The cheque is in the mail and I look forward to more instructions and guidance in due course.

    Liked by 5 people

    Reply
  4. arlingwoman

    Goodness, Bruce, this is one of the best rants I’ve ever read, getting more and more unreasonable and crazy as you gathered steam with each passing paragraph. I bet you could write speeches for certain people running for the U.S. presidency, sucking people in with your reasonable intro and moving into the real crazy as the candidate wound up. it could solve your financial problems, too. Of course, they’re such geniuses, they’d never consider it…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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